Toejam
08-26-2007, 08:21 PM
Uwe Boll is insane!!
That is the only way I can make my brain comprehend Uwe Boll. I just claim he is insane.
Some bits and pieces of said insanity:
Postal Preview and Blames Games (http://www.gamespot.com/news/6177606.html?om_act=convert&om_clk=newstop&tag=newstop;title;4)
The preview began inside the cockpit of one of the fated aircraft destined for the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. After patting themselves on the back for a job well done, two terrorists get into a heated debate regarding the exact number of virgins promised to them in the after life. At which point they call up Osama bin Laden, who kindly informs them that it will be "20." Case closed.
The scene then transitions to what appeared to be a Department of Motor Vehicles office. Within, a disgruntled individual forced to give up his spot in line due to inaccurate paperwork begins to shoot up the place, as attendants passively look on behind their shield of bullet-proof glass. After some hammy dialogue about the world needing to come together in unity by filling their hands with hugs and not guns, the screening ended.
Uwe Boll's thoughts on:
QrB27iduON4
Uwe Boll Wikipedia Page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uwe_boll)
From the Raging Boll section
Boll made headlines by challenging his critics to "put up or shut up". In June 2006, his production company issued a press release stating that Boll would challenge his five harshest critics each to a 10 round boxing match.
The list of five critics to step into the ring with Boll was drawn up in late August 2006, and featured
Webmaster of Something Aweful Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka,
Rue Morgue magazine writer Chris Alexander,
webmaster of Cinecutre Carlos Palencia Jimenez-Arguello,
Ain't it Cool News writer Jeff Sneider
and Chance Minter, amateur boxer and website critic.
Boll fought and won against all five participants. The first took place on September 5, 2006 in Málaga, Spain against Carlos Palencia with the rest on September 23, 2006 at the Plaza of Nations in Vancouver.
After Kyanka lost his match, he would go on to make several allegations against Boll, including that Boll refused to fight against Chance Minter, an amateur boxer, because he was an experienced boxer; that Boll misled them by claiming it was a PR stunt, but actually intended to fight them; that Boll claimed the participants would get training before the match, which no one did, and that Boll had seriously wounded Sneider, who had also believed Boll.
However, Boll actually fought Minter as his fourth opponent.
Kyanka added in a post-match interview that, "Half of us (the contenders) hadn't even seen his movies." Sneider shared similar sentiments, stating "I think he's a jerk. This might be PR but I don't want to keep getting punched in the head." Boll has denied these claims in an interview, stating that he gave his opponents three months to prepare. He also denied ever saying it was a PR stunt and claims that it was going to be a real fight.
Some of the other contestants, however, have not been as negative. Alexander, in a Toronto Star article, recounts being invited to Boll's beach house on the following day, where Boll asked him about the reasons for his unilaterally negative reviews. Alexander bluntly told Boll that his movies were "bloated, expensive and incoherent attempts at aping American genre pictures and sport some of the most boneheaded casting choices in filmdom" but that Boll was an " insane, two-fisted rogue, and a shockingly HONEST one at that, someone who absolutely adores film, knows its history and truly lives for what he does."
Alexander referred to the event as "the weirdest pop culture bizarre journalism stunt I've ever been involved in." Minter also praised what he'd seen so far of Boll's upcoming production Seed. Boll praised the contestants in a post fight press conference, stating "I like now the critics... Everybody who was in the ring showed (guts). Nobody dived."
Some words about Alone in the Dark:
Film writer Blair Erikson came up with a script for Alone in the Dark. According to Erikson, Uwe Boll changed the script to be more action packed than a thriller.
"The original script took the Alone In the Dark premise and depicted it as if it were actually based on a true story of a private investigator in the northeastern U.S. whose missing persons cases begin to uncover a disturbing paranormal secret. It was told through the eyes of a writer following Edward Carnby and his co-worker for a novel, and depicted them as real-life blue-collar folks who never expected to find hideous beings waiting for them in the dark. We tried to stick close to the H. P. Lovecraft style and the low-tech nature of the original game, always keeping the horror in the shadows so you never saw what was coming for them. Thankfully Dr. Boll was able to hire his loyal team of hacks to crank out something much better than our crappy story and add in all sorts of terrifying horror movie essentials like opening gateways to alternate dimensions, bimbo blonde archaeologists, sex scenes, mad scientists, slimy dog monsters, special army forces designed to battle slimy CG dog monsters, Tara Reid, "Matrix" slow-motion gun battles, and car chases. Oh yeah, and a ten-minute opening back story scroll read aloud to the illiterate audience, the only people able to successfully miss all the negative reviews. I mean hell, Boll knows that's where the real scares lie."
Alone in the Dark Review (http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/uwe-boll-wants.php)
Very funny.
also
On Rotten Tomatoes (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/features/special/2007/wotw/?r=2&mid=1141103) Alone in the Dark (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/alone_in_the_dark/) has a Fresh rating of 1% and is the second worst rated film in the website's history.
and just for fun
the soon to be "Classic"
KUKpwBMZ4Xw
That is the only way I can make my brain comprehend Uwe Boll. I just claim he is insane.
Some bits and pieces of said insanity:
Postal Preview and Blames Games (http://www.gamespot.com/news/6177606.html?om_act=convert&om_clk=newstop&tag=newstop;title;4)
The preview began inside the cockpit of one of the fated aircraft destined for the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. After patting themselves on the back for a job well done, two terrorists get into a heated debate regarding the exact number of virgins promised to them in the after life. At which point they call up Osama bin Laden, who kindly informs them that it will be "20." Case closed.
The scene then transitions to what appeared to be a Department of Motor Vehicles office. Within, a disgruntled individual forced to give up his spot in line due to inaccurate paperwork begins to shoot up the place, as attendants passively look on behind their shield of bullet-proof glass. After some hammy dialogue about the world needing to come together in unity by filling their hands with hugs and not guns, the screening ended.
Uwe Boll's thoughts on:
QrB27iduON4
Uwe Boll Wikipedia Page (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uwe_boll)
From the Raging Boll section
Boll made headlines by challenging his critics to "put up or shut up". In June 2006, his production company issued a press release stating that Boll would challenge his five harshest critics each to a 10 round boxing match.
The list of five critics to step into the ring with Boll was drawn up in late August 2006, and featured
Webmaster of Something Aweful Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka,
Rue Morgue magazine writer Chris Alexander,
webmaster of Cinecutre Carlos Palencia Jimenez-Arguello,
Ain't it Cool News writer Jeff Sneider
and Chance Minter, amateur boxer and website critic.
Boll fought and won against all five participants. The first took place on September 5, 2006 in Málaga, Spain against Carlos Palencia with the rest on September 23, 2006 at the Plaza of Nations in Vancouver.
After Kyanka lost his match, he would go on to make several allegations against Boll, including that Boll refused to fight against Chance Minter, an amateur boxer, because he was an experienced boxer; that Boll misled them by claiming it was a PR stunt, but actually intended to fight them; that Boll claimed the participants would get training before the match, which no one did, and that Boll had seriously wounded Sneider, who had also believed Boll.
However, Boll actually fought Minter as his fourth opponent.
Kyanka added in a post-match interview that, "Half of us (the contenders) hadn't even seen his movies." Sneider shared similar sentiments, stating "I think he's a jerk. This might be PR but I don't want to keep getting punched in the head." Boll has denied these claims in an interview, stating that he gave his opponents three months to prepare. He also denied ever saying it was a PR stunt and claims that it was going to be a real fight.
Some of the other contestants, however, have not been as negative. Alexander, in a Toronto Star article, recounts being invited to Boll's beach house on the following day, where Boll asked him about the reasons for his unilaterally negative reviews. Alexander bluntly told Boll that his movies were "bloated, expensive and incoherent attempts at aping American genre pictures and sport some of the most boneheaded casting choices in filmdom" but that Boll was an " insane, two-fisted rogue, and a shockingly HONEST one at that, someone who absolutely adores film, knows its history and truly lives for what he does."
Alexander referred to the event as "the weirdest pop culture bizarre journalism stunt I've ever been involved in." Minter also praised what he'd seen so far of Boll's upcoming production Seed. Boll praised the contestants in a post fight press conference, stating "I like now the critics... Everybody who was in the ring showed (guts). Nobody dived."
Some words about Alone in the Dark:
Film writer Blair Erikson came up with a script for Alone in the Dark. According to Erikson, Uwe Boll changed the script to be more action packed than a thriller.
"The original script took the Alone In the Dark premise and depicted it as if it were actually based on a true story of a private investigator in the northeastern U.S. whose missing persons cases begin to uncover a disturbing paranormal secret. It was told through the eyes of a writer following Edward Carnby and his co-worker for a novel, and depicted them as real-life blue-collar folks who never expected to find hideous beings waiting for them in the dark. We tried to stick close to the H. P. Lovecraft style and the low-tech nature of the original game, always keeping the horror in the shadows so you never saw what was coming for them. Thankfully Dr. Boll was able to hire his loyal team of hacks to crank out something much better than our crappy story and add in all sorts of terrifying horror movie essentials like opening gateways to alternate dimensions, bimbo blonde archaeologists, sex scenes, mad scientists, slimy dog monsters, special army forces designed to battle slimy CG dog monsters, Tara Reid, "Matrix" slow-motion gun battles, and car chases. Oh yeah, and a ten-minute opening back story scroll read aloud to the illiterate audience, the only people able to successfully miss all the negative reviews. I mean hell, Boll knows that's where the real scares lie."
Alone in the Dark Review (http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/uwe-boll-wants.php)
Very funny.
also
On Rotten Tomatoes (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/features/special/2007/wotw/?r=2&mid=1141103) Alone in the Dark (http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/alone_in_the_dark/) has a Fresh rating of 1% and is the second worst rated film in the website's history.
and just for fun
the soon to be "Classic"
KUKpwBMZ4Xw