Batman vs. Pineapple

[The Taff]

Who takes home the gold?

BATMAN

http://www.newmuse.com/hero_rpg/batman_alex_ross_2.jpg
Known in some circles as the Caped Crusader, The Dark Knight, and The Goddamn...

VERSUS

PINEAPPLE

http://talkingunion.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/pineapple.jpg
Known to consort and scheme with Ham....

Discuss!

[Monkey]

I say Christopher Nolan's version would win hands down.

If we're talking Val Kilmer, it's an even match.

Batman & Robin vs. Pineapple & Ham. That would be EPIC.

...did you hear that? The fun police are coming. Hide!

[The Taff]

I think that you forget, Monkey. Pineapple is pure delicious. It doesn't matter that Bat-Bale is a fucking Ninja. Pineapple will always win in the end. All it has to do is work its way into Batman's colon and he's done for...

[Monkey]

You make a good point.

Still, you can slice pineapple and put it on a pizza. Batman wouldn't let you do that. He would figure out pineapple's strategy and put it down for good. Haven't you heard of anti-pineapple spray? It's next to the batarang on his utility belt.

Batman, FT motherfuckin W.

[The Taff]

You make a good point.

Still, you can slice pineapple and put it on a pizza. Batman wouldn't let you do that. He would figure out pineapple's strategy and put it down for good.

Well, that all matters on which Pineapple we're talking about. If we're talking about Pineapple from Brazil, then maybe. But Southeast Asia Pineapple is pure delicious and can't be stopped.

Go listen to James Dole's commentary on Pineapple 12: Insurrection* if you don't believe me.

[SlasherFreak]

I eenie meanie miney mowed and came out with pineapple.

So this thread can be locked now.

[Monkey]

Is Batman allowed to use the batmobile? If so, even Southeast Asian pineapple doesn't stand a chance. Read Batman #537 and you'll know what I'm talking about.

[The Taff]

So this thread can be locked now.

DiMidio, we can't let our love of delicious Pineapple get in the way of the important debate here!

Monkey, Batman can only use the Batmobile if Pineapple has the Mark of Ham.

[Monkey]

I eenie meanie miney mowed and came out with pineapple.

So this thread can be locked now.

Nah, it's Christmas time. I hear Uwe Bol will come out of retirement if the script is good.

This poll is way gooder than Predator vs. Lycan. Free your mind.

[The Taff]

Nah, it's Christmas time. I hear Uwe Bol will come out of retirement if the script is good.

That dude is such a visionary!

[Kat]

There is a fucking reason, why they make these in a pineapple flavor...
http://www.knickerbockergloryyears.com/images/batman_small.jpg

Batman would chop the fuck outta that bitch

[The Taff]

That's Adam West Batman, Kat! That shit ain't canonical!

[Monkey]

That's Adam West Batman, Kat! That shit ain't canonical!

Now wait a damn minute. You can't qualify that shit after the fact, you never specified which Batman it was.

ADDED:
Damn, she forgot to vote. What could be more important?

[SlasherFreak]

You know this sucks. I make a sarcastic poll thread to make a statement about the ridiculousness of some of the polls on our beloved forum (after reading the Predator vs Lycan thread, of course), and Taffer did the same thing and it clearly is outshining my thread.

What an asshole you are, Taffer.

[The Taff]

Now wait a damn minute. You can't qualify that shit after the fact, you never specified which Batman it was.

It doesn't matter! Southern Asia Pineapple could defeat all Batmans. How many fucking times do I have to tell you, fucker!? PURE DELICIOUS!

You know this sucks. I make a sarcastic poll thread to make a statement about the ridiculousness of some of the polls on our beloved forum, and Taffer did the same thing and it clearly is outshining my thread.

What an asshole you are, Taffer.

Bow to the king, bitch! :D



Gawd, I can't stop laughing. :lmao:

[Utellme]

You know this sucks. I make a sarcastic poll thread to make a statement about the ridiculousness of some of the polls on our beloved forum (after .

Where is this thread you speak of Di ? A link ?

And i have to go with Pineapple but not if Ditka or Chuck Norris was envolved.

[Monkey]

I can hardly breathe right now. This is beyond stupid. You clearly don't know what you're talking about and have never read the comic book. Fucking pineapple fanboy.

[Kat]

What would happen though, if the Pineapple was hiding out in a grocery store in Haddonfield? And Pineapples can spawn... plus they can also hid out in Jello.

[The Taff]

I've read lots of comic books, but I've also seen lots of pineapples! You're so full of shit, asshole. I hope Pineapple finds you and kills you for doubting in him!

What would happen though, if the Pineapple was hiding out in a grocery store in Haddonfield? And Pineapples can spawn... plus they can also hid out in Jello.

See!? Kat gets it! Pineapple would totally wait in the batcave in some Jell-O! Pineapple is a master of stealth like that!


:lmao:

[Monkey]

I've read lots of comic books, but I've also seen lots of pineapples! You're so full of shit, asshole. I hope Pineapple finds you and kills you for doubting in him!


:lmao:
I never said you haven't seen a pineapple. Quit putting words in my mouth.







:lmao:

[Brett H.]

I don't want pineapple anywhere near my pizza... but it can fuck Batman up any day of the week.

[Utellme]

A Pineapple raked across the mouth of the batboy probably would do some damage also. Right Taffer ?

[Kat]

See, this is how stealth the pineapple is
http://www.tableheads.com/Pineapple_Head_7.jpg

[The Taff]

I hear Pineapple was the real mastermind behind the death of Jason Tood AND Thomas and Martha Wayne. That's how ruthless Pineapple is.

[Monkey]

What would happen though, if the Pineapple was hiding out in a grocery store in Haddonfield? And Pineapples can spawn... plus they can also hid out in Jello.

I think you're forgetting that Batman would study up on Pineapple before he engaged it in combat. Jello wouldn't fool him.

If we're talking Haddonfield and it was 'pure evil', then I might give the edge to pineapple. Batman has never faced purely evil pineapple; it might take advantage of the situation and suffocate him with its juices. That's purely speculation, though.

[SlasherFreak]

I do realize that deciding between Batman and pineapple is a bit easier than deciding between left or right. So with that, I've come to the conclusion that everyone here posting and showing this thread more love than my "Which direction is better, left or right?" thread are just not up for the challenge of tackling such a troubling question...

Go ahead...ask yourself out loud....Which direction is better, left or right?

Pretty fucking hard question to answer, is it not?

I understand it now, and I feel a whole lot better about myself.

[The Taff]

It doesn't matter. Pineapple can rearrange his parts to any form and travel unseen through time and space. All it needs to do is teleport into Batman's colon and BLAM!

http://www.freakingnews.com/pictures/19000/Pineapple-Grenade-19160.jpg
That's all she fucking wrote!

[Monkey]

I do realize that deciding between Batman and pineapple is a bit easier than deciding between left or right. So with that, I've come to the conclusion that everyone here posting and showing this thread more love than my "Which direction is better, left or right?" thread are just not up for the challenge of tackling such a troubling question...

Go ahead...ask yourself out loud....Which direction is better, left or right?

Pretty fucking hard question to answer, is it not?

I understand it now, and I feel a whole lot better about myself.
You're forgetting Monkey vs. Monkey. I think there's room to debate.

But let's try to stay on-topic, shall we?

[Utellme]

I think you're forgetting that Batman would study up on Pineapple before he engaged it in combat. Jello wouldn't fool him.

If we're talking Haddonfield and it was 'pure evil', then I might give the edge to pineapple. Batman has never faced purely evil pineapple; it might take advantage of the situation and suffocate him with its juices. That's purely speculation, though.

Monkey your clearly under estimating the power of the Pineapple let alone the Delicuos Sout Asian Pineapple.Its no joke bro im glad you find this funny cause this Pineapple means business.

[The Taff]

Guys, I just heard a rumor that Johnny Depp will play Pineapple in the next Batman movie. I don't know about that, I don't think he can play such an important character in the Batman mythos...

[SlasherFreak]

Where is this thread you speak of Di ? A link ?

And i have to go with Pineapple but not if Ditka or Chuck Norris was envolved.

UTellMe huh?

Let me tell you something

learn how to quote right, spell, and punctuate and I'll link you to whatever you want!!!

:D

[Brett H.]

Wait... does Batman have a power drain? 'Cause that'll change everything. He could suck the juice right out of that fuckin' fruitcake.

[The Taff]

Wait... does Batman have a power drain? 'Cause that'll change everything. He could suck the juice right out of that fuckin' fruitcake.

No, he doesn't have a power drain! Jeez, Brett. Let's stay in the realm of reality here...

[Utellme]

[QUOTE=DiMidio;376486]UTellMe huh?

Let me tell you something

learn how to quote right, spell, and punctuate and I'll link you to whatever you want!!!

ok hows this for quoting ? and how is my punctuation should i be putting in a comma by now or a period is there a end to this sentence can i breath yet ?

wat u mean spel

Your just overwhelmed by the Pineapple that you dont know wether to go left or right.

So the heck with your little direction thread its no where near as delicous as Pineapple or powerfull and your just jealous.

[Monkey]

Guys, I just heard a rumor that Johnny Depp will play Pineapple in the next Batman movie. I don't know about that, I don't think he can play such an important character in the Batman mythos...
I saw that on IMDB. But nothing's been confirmed.

Batman would drain the juice, chop that shit up, and put pineapple all up in your grill.

http://www.barbecuen.com/images/kettle/pineapple.jpg
ADDED:


So the heck with your little direction thread its no where near as delicous as Pineapple or powerfull and your just jealous.
Look, Dimidio, stay on-topic. Keep it civil, please. If you have a problem with Utellme, take it up in a PM.

[SlasherFreak]

Awesome thread.

[The Taff]

You forget, Pineapple has regenerative abilities ever since Batman #4. You can chop him up, but he'll just grow back into multiple Pineapples. Batman already could be defeated by one, but any army of Pineapple!? He's fucked!

Check it out, first picture of Johnny Depp as Christopher Nolan's version of Pineapple.

http://somethingfromanything.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/mutant_pineapple.jpg
Batman's Arch-Enemy!

Look at that shitty make-up! This is gonna be horrible and nothing like the Pineapple from the comics!

[SlasherFreak]

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah


...............................

[Monkey]

You forget, Pineapple has regenerative abilities ever since Batman #4. You can chop him up, but he'll just grow back into multiple Pineapples. Batman already could be defeated by one, but any army of Pineapple!?

Look at that shitty make-up! This is gonna be horrible and nothing like the Pineapple from the comics!
Fucking Hollywood. Why can't they be more faithful to the comic book?

Didn't Bob Cane admit he was going through eggnog withdrawel when he wrote Batman #4? I don't think pre-war references should count anyway.

[Utellme]

...............................



Pineapple,Delicous, oh Left Right so exciting Pineapple is where its at.Now back to the subject at hand Pineapple not some punctuation nerdy English 101 class this is all about the Pineapple so lets leave it at that.Or ill start throwing Pineapples at your Eagles.

[Monkey]

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah

QFT........

[Utellme]

QFT........


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QFT

Quantum field theory not sure how this and the Pineapple tie together but ill get to the bottom of this mystery yet.

[Monkey]

Nah, baby, Quoted for truth. Nobody lays down the blah blah like you, mang.

I'm out of ideas. I nearly pissed myself laughing. I will always remember where I was this day.

[Utellme]

Nah, baby, Quoted for truth. Nobody lays down the blah blah like you, mang.

I'm out of ideas. I nearly pissed myself laughing. I will always remember where I was this day.

Did someone say Baby ? I want my baby back ribs.

Nobody lays down the blah blah like you, mang. Thats right and dont forget it snapper head.

[SlasherFreak]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/QFT

Quantum field theory not sure how this and the Pineapple tie together but ill get to the bottom of this mystery yet.

You didn't pull this out of your ass. Either just right now, or at a point in the past, you read in a post "QFT", had no idea what it meant, and was reduced to googling it to find out what it meant. The first thing that popped up was the link you posted, and it stuck with you.

[Utellme]

You didn't pull this out of your ass. Either just right now, or at a point in the past, you read in a post "QFT", had no idea what it meant, and was reduced to googling it to find out what it meant. The first thing that popped up was the link you posted, and it stuck with you.


Well if i did not know what QFT meant that is definetly nothing to be ashamed of.Ive been done with scholl for years.Now all that matters is the numbers i get paid by money not grammar.

Now im back to the Pineapple grammar boy.

[The Taff]

Monkey doesn't ahve any fucking facts to back his shit up anymore, therefore Pineapple wins!

[SlasherFreak]

UTellMe googles internet abbreviations!

[Utellme]

UTellMe googles internet abbreviations!

Di don't know left or rite

[SlasherFreak]

Di don't know left or rite

Right.

Because your spelling is so horrible, some of the words you type seem like new internet abbreviations, and I myself have to go right to google to try and figure out what the fuck you just typed.

[The Taff]

I think this forum has it's own Sandwich God now.

LONG LIVE PINEAPPLE!

[Utellme]

yep the more you grammar magors complain the worst my spelling will get i have turned off spell check and punctuation i was actually trying but the complainers hav ruined that

let it go this is a F13th forum not English class it just shows ur not eating enough Pineapple

[The Taff]

In Soviet Russia, PINEAPPLE EATS YOU!

[SlasherFreak]

Yo, to be honest, I don't even like pineapples.

I mean I can eat hawaiin pizza with pineapples and ham...but other than that i dont eat them at all.

[Brett H.]

I like pig feet.

[SlasherFreak]

yep the more you grammar magors complain the worst my spelling will get i have turned off spell check and punctuation i was actually trying but the complainers hav ruined that

let it go this is a F13th forum not English class it just shows ur not eating enough Pineapple

lol I can't tell if you're really irritated or not!

But to keep on hammering the point in, Hulk Hogan would totally do a leg drop on your spelling abilities.

[Utellme]

Yo, to be honest, I don't even like pineapples.

.

See thats your whole problem there .
ADDED:
lol I can't tell if you're really irritated or not!

But to keep on hammering the point in, Hulk Hogan would totally do a leg drop on your spelling abilities.

Di LOL Im not irratated bro i am so bored right now i will talk ,argue, debate,mispell anything its all good.Your all right im not irrated at anyone im just adjitating for some excitement.

The heck with Hulk Hogan i would just hold up the Pineapple and he would crawl out of the ring like a spider crab.

[Brett H.]

Hogan would legdrop the fuck out of any pineapple. End of discussion.

[Utellme]

Hogan would legdrop the fuck out of any pineapple. End of discussion.

Ill let Taffer set you straight but Hogan would tear his hamstring on the Pineapple.

[Sean [The Wildcard]]

No Contest, Pineapple would win. Hands down. No bones about it.

King Kong aint got shit on Pineapple.

[Utellme]

Oh my sweet innocent Pineapple you let him drown you was not even paying attention.Look what you've done to him.

[The Taff]

Pineapple
Real Name: Timothy Phillip Dole
Profession: Omnipitant Super Being/Batman's Arch-Nemesis.
Powers and Abilities: He can fucking do anything! He's the Goddamn Pineapple!
Known Allies: Ham, Pizza, Known Member of the Sinister Fruit Coctail.
Backstory: Timothy Phillip Dole was a well respected Pineapplologist in Gotham City when lightning struck his wife, causing her to develope Accute Pinapplitis due to her close proximity to her husband's experiements. Desperate for a cure, he cryogenically froze his wife in Pineapple juice. The experiment blew up in his face, permanently scarring him and giving him God like abilities. Armed with these new found abilities, he decided to be a total dickwad and killed Batman's fucking parents. Then when Bruce was taken away by police, he resurrected his mother, totally fucked Batman's mom, then killed her again. Later, he killed Jason Todd while pretending to be the Joker, simply because comic fans had had enough of that little shit. Now, Batman lives in constant fear of the day Pineapple will return to fuck his world up, which could be any day now.

[Monkey]

Pineapple
Real Name: Timothy Phillip Dole
Profession: Omnipitant Super Being/Batman's Arch-Nemesis.
Powers and Abilities:: He can fucking do anything! He's the Goddamn Pineapple!
Backstory: Timothy Phillip Dole was a well respected Pineapplologist in Gotham City when lightning struck his wife, causing her to develope Accute Pinapplitis due to her close proximity to her husband's experiements. Desperate for a cure, he cryogenically froze his wife in Pineapple juice. The experiment blew up in his face, permanently scarring him and giving him God like abilities. Armed with these new found abilities, he decided to be a total dickwad and killed Batman's fucking parents. Then when Bruce was taken away by police, he resurrected his mother, totally fucked Batman's mom, then killed her again. Later, he killed Jason Todd while pretending to be the Joker, simply because comic fans had had enough of that little shit. Now, Batman lives in constant fear of the day Pineapple will return to fuck his world up, which could be any day now.

I only have two words for you.

'yo mama.

What the hell. Batman is getting clobbered in a land slide. I had no idea you were all these different people. There's no way this can be accurate: 6 to 1? Split personalities? How do you log in with so many different profiles? You're good, man. I'll give you that.

[The Tall Man]

I'm not all that big a fan of pineapple (its pies are tasty) and I don't want it anywhere near a slice of pizza, but Pineapple would totally hand Batman's ass to him, then fuck Catwoman and Batgirl stupid on the same night.

T.M., Esq.

[The Taff]

I'm not all that big a fan of pineapple (its pies are tasty) and I don't want it anywhere near a slice of pizza, but Pineapple would totally hand Batman's ass to him, then fuck Catwoman and Batgirl stupid on the same night.

T.M., Esq.

AT THE SAME TIME!
ADDED:
I only have two words for you.

'yo mama.

What the hell. Batman is getting clobbered in a land slide. I had no idea you were all these different people. There's no way this can be accurate: 6 to 1? Split personalities? How do you log in with so many different profiles? You're good, man. I'll give you that.

Yer just a fanboy and can't take ther fact that Pineapple is better. Go hang out with your pussy Batman, Batboy!

[Monkey]

AT THE SAME TIME!
ADDED:


Yer just a fanboy and can't take ther fact that Pineapple is better. Go hang out with your pussy Batman, Batboy!
Just because you kids all agree on something, don't make it true. Pineapple is harvested; it gets served. You don't serve Batman. Sucka MC.

Batman can kick Michael Myers ass, yet loses to Pineapple in a landslide. By that rationale, pineapple > Michael Myers. All Dr. Loomis had to do was bring a can a whup-ass and we wouldn't have to suffer through Halloween: Resurrection. Unless this is a rock-paper-scissors kind of deal. :err:

http://www.southernplate.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/dscn4162-400x300.jpg

[The Taff]

http://www.f13community.com/pineappletdk.jpg

Sickboy must be God, because this is the equivilant of a gift from a deity... :sniffle:

[Utellme]

I only have two words for you.

'yo mama.

What the hell. Batman is getting clobbered in a land slide. I had no idea you were all these different people. There's no way this can be accurate: 6 to 1? Split personalities? How do you log in with so many different profiles? You're good, man. I'll give you that.

I would like to know who the 1 person is that voted for Bat Boy ?

[The Taff]

Just because you kids all agree on something, don't make it true. Pineapple is harvested; it gets served. You don't serve Batman. Sucka MC.

Batman can kick Michael Myers ass, yet loses to Pineapple in a landslide. By that rationale, pineapple > Michael Myers. All Dr. Loomis had to do was bring a can a whup-ass and we wouldn't have to suffer through Halloween: Resurrection. Unless this is a rock-paper-scissors kind of deal. :err:

Bad news, Loomis died choking on a chunk of fucking Pineapple. It's in the deleted scenes for Halloween: H20, so that shit is totally canonical! Loomis, Myers, AND Batman are no match for the power of paradise fucking fruit!

[Brett H.]

Tech N9ne has already made the theme for the movie:

70GmGvvYxN4

[The Tall Man]

Batman can kick Michael Myers ass, yet loses to Pineapple in a landslide. By that rationale, pineapple > Michael Myers.
Not exactly. That sort of thing happens all the time. Godzilla has beat King Ghidrah, Mechagodzilla, and Gigan, three of the biggest badasses in the universe... Yet he lost to Kong, who doesn't even have a breath weapon. That's the way she goes, I'm afraid.

http://www.f13community.com/pineappletdk.jpg

Sickboy must be God, because this is the equivilant of a gift from a deity... :sniffle:
The forum is just FULL of Christmas miracles this year!

T.M., Esq.

[Sean [The Wildcard]]

GREATEST. THREAD. EVER.:sniffle:

[The Taff]

;376617']GREATEST. THREAD. EVER.:sniffle:

Dear Lord, do I ever concur. :sniffle:

[Kat]

Hey, even though I am a fan of Pineapple, I need to know something... because it's been a while since I have seen or been near one.

Does the Pineapple still have that Bacardi power? Where he can turn people into a fucking drunken sloth, I know he used to do that to take advantage of people, and use those powers to rob pizza parlors, but I don't know if this incarnation of him can do that....

Clarify.

[The Taff]

Hey, even though I am a fan of Pineapple, I need to know something... because it's been a while since I have seen or been near one.

Does the Pineapple still have that Bacardi power? Where he can turn people into a fucking drunken sloth, I know he used to do that to take advantage of people, and use those powers to rob pizza parlors, but I don't know if this incarnation of him can do that....

Clarify.

The Chris Nolan version doesn't have any powers, unfortunately. Goddamn Chris Nolan ruins everything!

[SlasherFreak]

Master Taffer just sent this to my email, said it was him on Halloween:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_-cxiTiVHv9E/R5-qn6YGDqI/AAAAAAAAAec/nVqlN1oTcyk/s400/pineapple.jpg

Said if I wanted to see more he could show me a fully body shot where he's asshole naked, painted like a pineapple. I passed.

He told me he ate this pineapple boat later that night.

http://images.travelpod.com/users/jonclark2000/4.1230712560.pineapple-boat.jpg

Then he smoked a pineapple flavored...

http://phreak407.files.wordpress.com/2006/11/61103-234044.jpg

and watched

http://i205.photobucket.com/albums/bb52/The_Playlist/movies/pineapple_express.png

Then said he ended his night by wacking off, and this is what came out of his cock:

http://img.alibaba.com/photo/11113096/100_Pure_Pineapple_Juice.jpg

[The Taff]

I did no such thing. You're obviously unfamiliar with my work.