Muffin - The Biography

[Mr. Undertaker]

Alright, since Wheatjedi started this Muffin ate Paul thing, it seems a lot of people are enjoying talking about it. So why not create a on-line Muffin Biography!? It will be nice if everyone who is interested in contributing agrees that: Muffin is dangerous
Muffin is a friend of Jason
and the more important: Muffin ate Paul. :D

I believe that we have to start with the timeline and characters.
we have to set a year.

I imagined a few chapters:

Muffin's Birth - How life was on the Crystal Lake Pet Shop
Muffin finds a home - When Enos took her home with him, and what happened with them there
Muffin has a new home - How Muffin makes her way into Terri's home
Muffin back to her roots - When Muffin returned to Crystal Lake
Muffin finds someone who understands her - Her encounter with Jason
Muffin ate Paul - Finally the un-told story
Muffin into the woods - how she lived after f13th part 2
Muffin finds love - Muffin and Gordon a true love story

Characters for the first part: (it's ok to add or modify while its not completely settled)


We'll need Muffin's mom, Muffin's dad, Muffin's possible siblings (I think that we can make Muffin eat them down on the story), and the pets owner.


Alright I guess it's enough to start!!!!

[hack slash]

June 1980,

At the Crystal Lake vacation home of Chuck Norris a litter of puppies was born to Sparky and Lady there were 10 puppies in all. One day Mr. Norris decided not to kick ass that day and went in to check on the puppies and actually name them

[Wheatjedi]

As Chuck entered the room, he saw Lady in her bed with the ten little pups all around her. He and Sparky agreed that they were the cutest things they had ever seen.

"Well," said Chuck, "I suppose it's about time we name these little fellas."

Sparky and Lady barked their agreement, and they set about sorting out the ten new additions to the family. After much discussion and deliberation, Chuck and his four-legged friends had settled on the names:

1. Grace - female, light brown hair
2. Serenity - female, white and brown
3. Buffy - female, white and brown
4. Squeaker - female, white and brown, big eyes
5. Angel - male, long brown, black and white hair
6. Spot - female, white/brown spiky hair
7. Dawn - female, reddish hair
8. Ginger - female, golden hair
9. Amaya - female, brown hair, big eyes
10. Muffin - female, white hair

Chuck took the new family to the highest point overlooking Crystal Lake, and spoke to the sky in a commanding voice, "This is my family. No harm shall ever come to them from any who dwells upon this earth. They shall make their presence known to all mankind, and their names will echo through the ages for all eternity. For I am Chuck Norris!!!"

The wind picked up as thunder rumbled through the clouds and lightning split the heavens! Animals from all across the region looked in the direction of Chuck and the puppies and lowered their heads. The people of Crystal Lake knew that something amazing had happened and were filled with a sense of wonder unlike anything they had ever experienced.

Back on the mountain, Chuck carefully loaded Sparky, Lady and the puppies into his truck and headed back for home. From that day forward, no harm ever befell any of them.

[hack slash]

July 1980,

Chuck Norris had to leave his vacation home to go overseas to film a movie called the Octagon so he asked his neighbor Ralph to watch over the dogs while he was gone. Chuck returned 2 days later(it's Chuck Norris he can film an entire trilogy of movies in a day) went to his mail box and saw blood. He smiled and went into the house and his dogs came running he only counted 11.
He yelled for Ralph, and asked Ralph what happend to Muffin. Ralph told him that Muffin attacked the mailman and ripped him apart so he thought Mr. Norris would want to have the dog put down. Chuck yelled at Ralph asking why would he do that, the mailman brought bills and deserved to die. Ralph began fearing for his life, but in a small moment of compassion Chuck only grazed him with a roundhouse kick knocking him goofy and putting him through a wall(thus Crazy Ralph was born). Chuck was depressed because Muffin was his favorite of the pups and loaded up his stuff and moved away. He stopped by the vets office and they told him that Muffin had destroyed all the dogs they had in the clinic and that they were to scared of her to do anything about it, and that after the brutal killings Muffin had escaped and jumped into a car driven by a Teenage girl named Terri:cool:

[Mr. Undertaker]

I thought Muffin took a ride to Terri's town with Enos on his red truck. :confused:

[Wheatjedi]

She did. There was just a little bump in the story there.....