Rob Zombie Shitty Remake-Mania Game!

[Brett H.]

I had tossed this idea around a bit ago, canned it, then brought it up to a buddy who thought it was a great idea, so I shall bring it here and see if my bird has wings.

The way the thread works is the person above you (me, for the first player) makes a list of three movies that Rob Zombie can choose from to remake. The replier must write "Zombie's" synopsis about what happens in the remake of the film they choose, and then create a new list (duplicates are allowed) for the next person to create a Zombie film from!

To break the thread's cherry:

A) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
B) The Shawshank Redemption
C) Zombieween (yes, remaking his own remake!)

(Pick one and "Rob Zombie" up a fictional synopsis for this new, wonderful, upcoming movie!)

[nottidelterrore]

Rob Zombie's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

The Turtles must save the trailer parks of New York from the clutches of former friend & super villian, Raperil O'Neal. Two & a half hours of vulger insults, ridiculously over-the-top violence, nudity, shaky cam, poorly written dialogue, & every known horror genre actor(and some wrestlers) ever known to man! Will the Turtles save the trailer parks from Raperil O'Neal's vile clutches!?

Here's my list:

A) The Little Mermaid
B) Kuffs
C) Beaches

[Brett H.]

Rob Zombie's The Little Mermaid

After spending a year in the can for prostitution charges, Ariel is back in the water after being held in a 2 foot deep concentration pool, and trying to turn tricks. Along the way she meets a low-down strip club owning lobster who gets her hooked on speedballs. As the world around them crumbles and pimps go to war with the hoes, can Ariel maintain her integrity, or will the shrewd devil heroin take over and leave her under the sea?

A) Toxic Avenger
B) Abominable Dr. Phibes
C) Ed Wood

[nottidelterrore]

Rob Zombie's The Toxic Avenger

Melvin Fucko was a 7 foot tall 300 pound carnie in Tromaville, the foul language & vulgar phrases capital of the United States. One day while skullfucking a couple of other carnies for littering, he somehow stumbles a few miles & ends up falling into some toxic waste. He was wearing plether pants & a Drowning Pool shirt. Melvin becomes the Toxic Avenger, a super hero who skullfucks all evil doers...sometimes with the assistance his trusty mop with nu-metal spikes all over it. After becoming the Toxic Avenger, he now weighs 3000 pounds & stands at 17 feet tall. He also finds true love when he saves a girl after she was violated by a few trailer park kings. She has no eyes in her head but instead has eyes on her tits so she has to walk around topless all the time. Skullfucking, saving the day, & getting the girl. A romantic comedy action hero horror flick...with tit eyes. Featuring music from Rob Zombie, Powerman 5000, Drowning Pool, KoRn, Disturbed, Staind, Limp Bizkit, & Amy Grant. Rated PG-13 with an unrated DVD release.

A) Death Wish III
B) The Crow
C) Maniac Cop

[The Dream Master]

Rob Zombie's Maniac Cop

Matt Cordell was a cop that lived on the edge. One night, while snorting a line of coke off the tits of a Chinese hooker, he's assaulted and gang-raped by a bunch of thieves and left for dead...or so they think.

Returning as an 8 foot hulk of vengeance, Cordell vows revenge on trash of the city, namely the local trailer park.

Starring Bill Mosely, Sid Haig, and Sherri Moon Zombie (as the Chinese hooker).

Special guest appearance by Lou Diamond Phillips.

Rated TV-MA.

A Sci-Fi Channel Original.

A.) Friday the 13th
B.) The Breakfast Club
C.) Dirty Harry

[nottidelterrore]

Rob Zombie's Dirty Harry

Throw out the bad ass cop story & bring in a coming of age story about a dirty, unkempt vagina trying to find her role in the world. Animated. Dirty Harriet voiced by Sheri Moon Zombie.

A) The Terminator
B) Weird Science
C) Breakfast at Tiffany's

[Jigsaw]

Rob Zombie's The Terminator


A Terminator is sent back through time to assassinate Sarah Connor, who in is a white trash waitress working in a deep slum of a rural community. Sent through time to protect her is Kyle Reese, who's a redneck and more trigger-happy and careless than the Kyle of the original Terminator. The Terminator is more talkative and nearly every line of dialogue he says has the word "fuck" in it. The Terminator pursues Kyle and Sarah through a rural white trash community and the locales range from trailer parks, biker bars, a rural police station and the climax is set at a redneck car garage.


A) Saw
B) Friday The 13th
C) First Blood

[Special Killa B]

Rob Zombie's Friday the 13th

"Don't go to Camp Crystal Lake, it has a death curse!" is what some of the redneck locals say. A few years back a little boy was gang raped and skull fucked to death by his camp counselers. Not listening to the redneck locals a new batch of white trash and slutty kids decide to open what was once a very popular camp. Everything goes alright the first night there as the kids have a blast doing lines of coke, shooting up heroin and we even get to see a very intense rape scene as a hitchhiker stumbles onto the camp and is forced into submission by one of the camp counselors. But then something begins to happen as each one of the camp counselors begin to be killed off one by one by an unknown figure. Could this be the little boy who was skull fucked to death years back? Or is it someone else seeking revenge? Mrs. Voorhees played by Sherri Moon Zombie


1) Raiders of the Lost Ark
2) Back to the Future
3) National Lampoons Vacation

[Brett H.]

Rob Zombie's Back to the Future

A middle aged serial rapist constructs a time machine out of an old van that runs exclusively on the tears of freshly "used" victims. He meets a young man whom expresses interest in going back in time order to stop the ceasement of button-up track pants production. Dr. Rape rakes the lad all the way back to 1998, to when he was a mere three years old. In the past, the young lad is an important man in the trailer park, but a 15 year old MILF catches his eye. The two fall in love and the boy decides he'd rather live with his love than go back to the cold cruel world. When Dr. Rape insists this would destroy the space time continuum, the lovers must take justice into their own hands. After a brutal rape scene involving a can of Raid, 6 bottles of Night Train Express, Dr. Rape gets what's coming to him. And, when the lovers baby is born with 17 toes, 8 eyes and 4 reproductive organs... there will be a whole lot of rapin' goin' on. Special appearance by Jerry Lee Lewis & Scott Goldberg. Featuring the music of Necrophagia and Powerman 5000.

A) The Outsiders
B) The Omen
C) Child's Play

[Special Killa B]

Rob Zombie's Child's Play

Charles Lee Ray aka The Lakeshore Strangler is hunted down and chased into hiding inside a porn shop. Knowing he is surrounded but refusing to go quietly, Charles grabs the first thing he sees, a female blow up doll named Charlize and immediately starts to sing one of Rob Zombie's song's. Within minutes Charles soul is transported into Charlize and is free to kill again. Charlize is then sold in a back alley to Karen a stripper at the downtown Men's Club and is the mother of 15 year old Andy who doesn't want her son losing his virginity at such an early age to a real woman and possibly causing pregnancy. Karen buys Charlize for a pack of cigarettes, an eight ball and a blow job to the bum selling Charlize. Andy and Charlize begin to spend quality time together however Andy has no clue that Charlize is really Charles Lee Ray. After going on a new killing spree in his new body, killing his victims while they fuck Charlize in one of her pleasure holes, Charles realizes the only way to get out of the blow up doll's body is for Andy to finally pop his cherry inside Charlize. The last hour of the movie we see Charlize raping and killing everyman that stands in her way and trying to force Andy on her.

Will Andy give in and fuck the hell out of Charlize? Will Karen realize what she has done by bringing Charlize into their home? Will Detective Mike Norris give in and have a shocking threesome with Karen and Charlize? Watch the movie for the answers!!

Music by Rob Zombie, Mushroomhead, Vince Neil, Jimmy Buffet and a touching love ballad by Sheryl Crow and Zakk Wylde

1) Predator
2) Rocky Balboa
3) Passenger 57

[Jigsaw]

Rob Zombie's Predator


A group of ragtag redneck mercenaries are sent on a mission to infiltrate an enemy stronghold inside a trailer park, only to find out they've been set up. Things go from bad to worse when a hillbilly alien hunter crashlands on Earth in his NASCAR-sponsored spaceship and he's also drunk from having too many beers. The drunken Predator proceeds to take out the mercenaries one by one until only one remains, and he's able to survive and defeat the Predator using bear traps, beer can snaresand strategically-placed moonshine barrels.


1) Batman
2) The Punisher
3) Iron Man

[Uncle Hugo]

Rob Zombie's Batman

A vigilante known as the Bat-Man stalks the Gotham City trailer park and exacts brutal justice by caving in skulls with a baseball bat. All the while, a local biker is disfigured during a shootout in his meth lab, becoming the psychotic rapist known as The Joker. A reporter from a sleazy porn magazine is following the trail of corpses left by the two maniacs to get the story that would bring her to the top of porn magazine reporters.

Which of these mad killers will skullfuck the other?

Tyler Mane as The Bat-Man, Bill Moseley as The Joker, and Sheri Moon Zombie as Hickie Vale.

1) Puppet Master
2) Office Space
3) Evil Dead

[Jigsaw]

Rob Zombie's Puppet Master


Andre Toulon was an inbred Confederate soldier who specialized in hillbilly voodoo which he used to bring to life some puppets he created. He turned on the Confederacy and he was killed by Confederate soldiers, but not before his puppets (consisting of a lumberback, a steel worker, a NASCAR driver, a Jeff Foxworthy rip-off, a macho soldier who never actually experienced combat and a hooker) were stored away inside a barrel of moonshine. Years later they are discovered by a film crew shooting a porno inside the old trailer park motel where the incident with Toulon occured, and the Puppets don't take kindly to unwelcome visitors. Plenty of skullfucking.


1) The Godfather
2) Goodfellas
3) Scarface

[i am SAW]

Rob Zombie's Killer Klowns From Outer Space

After millions of years of fuckin shit up in space, the Killer Klowns have come down to earth to fuck shit up here for awhile. Late one night at the town fair, a group of horny teenagers who have been trippin balls on acid all night find more than they bargain for when one of them stumbles upon a dead Klown... who isn't really dead at all. Armed to the teeth with rocket launchers that shoot cotton candy to put you in a permanent cocoon and AK-47's that shoot popcorn bullets, these Klowns ain't no joke! Do the citizens of this small town have what it takes to stop these hilarious monsters, or will they all be booted straight to the moon?!?!

[nottidelterrore]

Ok since this thread is about remakes...I'm going to remake it. :eek:

Rob Zombie's Total ReCuNt

Douglas Aides is a beer delivery truck driver on Earth. He has a nice, foul mouthed white trash wife who peddles dildos by day & is a cum dumpster by night. Sometimes she's that by day too. Anyway Doug goes to ReCuNt one day because he wants a vacation implant. They implant a memory of him being a jizzmopper on Mars but find out that he had his memory erased beforehand. Hairy Vagina from work, he was the boss, tries to kill him for blabbing about Mars. What da fuuuuuck did ahhh doo wrrrunngg!? Doug yells as he fucking kills Hairy & his cronies to fucking death. He then gets his ass to Mahhhhzzz. He later encounters the chick with three knockers from the original. In this version, she has 36 tits & 58 vaginas & is later raped by Benny the cab driver, who is still an alien but happens to have 58 wieners. He still has kids to feed. Rob wants to keep that in the movie for the fans. Doug eventually remembers his old life as the frontman from a shitty nu-metal band & got his memory erased after realizing how shitty the band really was. He then goes back to Earth to continue his beer route. And Benny fed all of his kids. The End.

1) Smokey & the Bandit
2) Ghost Dad
3) Heathers

[God of Thunder]

Rob Zombie's Smokey and the Bandit

Deep in the south, there roams a cross-country marijuana dealer known as The Bandit, who roams around with his friend, Cletis Snow. They roam around the contry, dealing their weed and raping the townsfolk. Until they pick up a hitch hiker. She reveals to them on the road that the local Sheriff and his son were repatedly rapng her in the most vile ways... and now they are being followed. It's a cross country insane asylum!

1) Aladdin
2) Rats: Night of Terror
3) Stage Fright

[TheShowstoppa]

Disney Presents in Association with Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg - Rob Zombie's Aladdin.

Where fun and fantasy meet. A lowly young thief and his monkey find a genie in a bottle the grants their 3 most wild wishes. But what happens when one of those wishes turns bad? Deadly Bad. A sexual oddessy between a homeless brat and the princess of the town, in an action dramady that turns deadly. This is Aladdin.

A) TMNT
B) John Tucker Must Die
C) Mission Impossible

[Jus-X]

I really laughed at the comment made in this forum http://www.sickboy.f13-community.co.uk/board/showthread.php?p=333576#post333576
about Rob Zombie revamping Jaws. Had my laughing my assets off! Thought it would be an interesting topic do dedicate an entire thread on how Zombie would re-make/ re-imagine other classic horror films. So let loose. Bring up any movie and tell us how you think Robster would rock it out.

I'll start by saying Amittyville Horror (yes already remade movies can be done as well)

Out in the sticks, a man grabs his shotgun and shoots his wife in the head, then rapes her. He proceeds to his brother's room, but sticks the rifle up his brother's ass and fires a shot off, his brains hit the ceiling from the blast. He then proceeds to his sisters room, does the same thing. Goes down the hallway where his 17 year old daughter is making love with her boyfriend, totally oblivious to the sounds of the rifle. The man pulls a Jason, and stabs the barrel of the gun through both of the teens, then pulls it out, shoots the dude in the back of the head, the head splatters and reveals the daughter half blown off face from the blast. As he walks off the daughter groans, he shoots her in the heart and turns around, she coughs just a tiny little cough, and he shoots her in the throat. As he turns to walk away a death rattle comes from her direction and he bashes what's left of her brains all over her pillow with the rifle. The then proceeds to the kids rooms, out of bullets, and then he takes out a broadsword and lops there heads off, then lops his old head off.

Years later a redneck family consisting of a hot teen played by unknown actress, Sherri Moon Zombie as the mother, bearded Tyler Mane as the stepdad, and an etranged looked child as the son, comes in.

Babysitter played by a playboy model. Babysitters boyfriend by Kidd Rock. Priest played by Danny Trejo.
ADDED:
WHAT THE HELL? ARE YOU F'IN SERIOUS? I SEARCHED TO TRY AND FIND A THREAD LIKE THIS BEFORE I POSTED THIS POST AND LOW AND BEHOLD IT'S MOVED AN ALREADY CREATED THREAD!!!! ARRRGGGHHH? AM I DOING SOMETHING WRONG WHEN I'M TYPING IN MY SEARCHES? I PULL UP THOUSANDS OF THREADS AND NONE OF THEM HAS THE TITLE IN THE THREADS.

[nottidelterrore]

When searching for Rob Zombie topics, "shitty" is usually included in the title because that word reflects his works.

[Jus-X]

Okay, I understand. But if I type in Rob Zombie Remake game, why isn't ROB ZOMBIE Shitty REMAKE- Mania GAME on the top of the list?!?!?!
ADDED:
I duplicated:

The Beer Thread
Movie Quote Game
Musician Thread
Rob Zombie Remake
and many more that I don't have in the top of my head right now

[Bill 1981]

ADDED:
WHAT THE HELL? ARE YOU F'IN SERIOUS? I SEARCHED TO TRY AND FIND A THREAD LIKE THIS BEFORE I POSTED THIS POST AND LOW AND BEHOLD IT'S MOVED AN ALREADY CREATED THREAD!!!! ARRRGGGHHH? AM I DOING SOMETHING WRONG WHEN I'M TYPING IN MY SEARCHES? I PULL UP THOUSANDS OF THREADS AND NONE OF THEM HAS THE TITLE IN THE THREADS.

:lmao:

Oh, dude... You never cease to crack me up. You--you're crazy, man. I like you... But you're crazy. :sniffle:

To stay on topic with the thread, I'm gonna continue from where the last 3 titles left.

Rob Zombie's John Tucker Must Die

Synopsis: Sleazy High School jock, John Tucker (played by Daeg Fuckface) a Third-Generation Rapist, has sodomized his share of trailer trash vixens, including Hannah Hall as Lisa, his first piece of ass. When Lisa learns of John planning to take the young & innocent newcomer to the trailer park, Abbie, (Scout Taylor-Compton) as his next victim, Lisa teams up with Erica & Tina (Kristina Klebe & Danielle Harris) to teach John Tucker the ultimate lesson in humility and anally rape John for his years of sodomy he unleashed on them.

With guest appearances by Tyler Mane, William Forsythe, Danny Trejo, Sherri Moon-Zombie, Sid Haig as John Tucker the 1st & Bill Mosely as John Tucker Jr. This unique take on a modern teen classic will have movie-goers either sexually excited or running for the doors in terror. Coming soon from The Weinsten Company!

1) Miami Vice
2) Escape From New York
3) Gone In 60 Seconds

[Jus-X]

:lmao:

Oh, dude... You never cease to crack me up. You--you're crazy, man. I like you... But you're crazy. :sniffle:

To stay on topic with the thread, I'm gonna continue from where the last 3 titles left.

Rob Zombie's John Tucker Must Die

Synopsis: Sleazy High School jock, John Tucker (played by Daeg Fuckface) a Third-Generation Rapist, has sodomized his share of trailer trash vixens, including Hannah Hall as Lisa, his first piece of ass. When Lisa learns of John planning to take the young & innocent newcomer to the trailer park, Abbie, (Scout Taylor-Compton) as his next victim, Lisa teams up with Erica & Tina (Kristina Klebe & Danielle Harris) to teach John Tucker the ultimate lesson in humility and anally rape John for his years of sodomy he unleashed on them.

With guest appearances by Tyler Mane, William Forsythe, Danny Trejo, Sherri Moon-Zombie, Sid Haig as John Tucker the 1st & Bill Mosely as John Tucker Jr. This unique take on a modern teen classic will have movie-goers either sexually excited or running for the doors in terror. Coming soon from The Weinsten Company!

1) Miami Vice
2) Escape From New York
3) Gone In 60 Seconds

Okay, so in this thread, basically you come up with a plot somoeone else asks you to do out of a choice of 3? I can handle that.

Miami Vice.

Two sleezy redneck cops high off of their upper lip from snorting too much coke, fight to keep prostitution of the streets of Miami. But when a masked rapist starts going around raping every girl on Miami Blvd, then disappears into the shadows, he detectives have their work cut out for them.

Cast:
Sonny - Dave Sheridan
Rico - Ken Foree
Det. Calabrese - Sherri Moon Zombie
LT Castillo - William Forsthe
Gangbanger - Danny Trejo
Killer - Tyler Mane


Did I do it right?
Now I list 3 movies?

1) Harry And the Hendersons
2) Maximum Overdrive
3) Cruel Interntions

[nottidelterrore]

Rob Zombie's Maximum Overdrive

Radiation from the passing comet known as "Rapin-M" causes all mechanical & electrical devices to come to life. The radiation causes the devices to be murderous in nature towards everything living. A handful of survivors hole up in a sleazy titty bar known as "Flap Jacks" where most of the strippers are covered in dirt, have crabs, & are covered with stretch marks. Most are missing their teeth & have shitty prison tattoos as well. They are foul-mouthed & say the most vulgar & disgusting things possible because the writer/director thinks that's dark & edgy. They are all damaged characters because they're more interesting than normal people according to the writer/director. The survivors come up with a plan to appease the murderous devices outside Flap Jacks. Those devices are vibrators & electronic anal beads because Flap Jacks is located next door to a porn shop that specializes in those types of things. The owners are also dirty & foul-mouthed. The dirty strippers decide to give the anal beads what they want: twat & butthole. They are penetrated. Then they die. The vibrators & anal beads are happy. They die once the radiation dies out. The remaining strippers shake their flappy ass tits for the rest of the survivors. Wait & Bleed by Slipknot plays as the credits roll. The colors of the credit font are dark red & shit brown.

Starring:
Bill Moseley as Billy, an ex-rapist
Sid Haig as Browneye Bubba Hendershot, owner Flap Jacks
Linda Hunt as Brett, a hitchhiker looking for anal beads
Elizabeth Berkley as Connie, a newlywed wife with a foul mouth & addition to sucking toes
J. Trevor Edmund as Curt, Connie's pussy of a husband
Sheri Moon Zombie as The Green Goblin Truck
Pretty much everyone that are in all of Rob Zombie's films, various roles thrown in to showcase that Rob Zombie has B & horror movie genre star friends.

A. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
B. Leonard Part 6
C. Coming to America

[Jus-X]

Whentightly wound Neal Page, a bundle-of-nerves advertising executive, meets up with the lude and skewered, Del Griffith (Director of Anal Rape and Fuck Buddys Incorporated), a salesman who seems to live in a world governed by a different set of rules from those governing Neal Page's marketing life.

The movie follows the story of Neal Page as he tries to return to his family for Thanksgiving in Chicago after being on a business trip in New York. The journey is doomed from the outset, with Del Griffith interfering by inadvertently snatching the taxi cab that Page had hailed for himself. The two inevitably pair up later and begin an absurdly error-prone adventure to help Neal get back to his home. Their flight from LaGuardia Airport to O'Hare is highjacked by a gang of terrorists dressed like clowns. The gang makes all men and women seperate into different parts of the planes. After all the women get raped and gutted, the terrorists proceed into the next cabin to ass rape the men. Del saves the day by pulling two clown masks out of his briefcase and tells Neal to put one of them on. Neal wants nothing to do with it. Del has to explain he will get raped if he doesn't. So the two join the terrorist clown rapists in raping the other passengers. After the mass rape they demand the plane go to Vegas. After a long night of drinking and sex orgies with cracked out prostitues, Neal and Del sneak out. Then Neal tried to ditch Del on a train, but Del catches on, reminding him that he owes him, he owes him. after 12 hours on a train, a man walks onto the tracks to commit suicide and his body splatters all over the place. The train now must stop and call the authorites. When every mode of transport fails them, what should have been a 1 hour and 45 minute New York-to-Chicago flight turns into a three-day adventure.

Neal frequently blows up at Del, blaming him for much of their misfortunes, though Neal's mere presence is more at fault than anything. Del in turn regards Neal as pretentious and uptight, while Del is less afraid to be himself. After much heated argument between the two men, a bond between them forms, and Neal finally manages to overcome his self-centeredness and both men pull together to finally make their way home.

Under the beliefs that Del has a wife and family of his own (he frequently mentions his wife Marie and puts a framed picture of her on his various motel nightstands), Neal is taken aback when he later pieces together things Del said to realize that Del is alone. After they finally make it back to Chicago, He goes back to the station where he had left Del and sees Del sitting alone at the empty Union Station almost passed out drunk. Del tells Neal that Marie actually died off a heart attack in a gangbang eight years ago and that he's been homeless ever since. The bond between the two men strengthens further when Neal invites him into his home for the holidays. The movie ends with Neal offering up his 17 year old daughter in a three way with his wife, while he videotapes and masturbates to the scene. The two become lifelong friends.

Bill Moseley as Neal Page
Sid Haig as Del Griffith
Sherry Moon Zombie as Susan Page
Rainn Wilson as Clown 1
Matthew McGrory as Clown 2
Robert Allen Mukes as Clown 3
Brad Dourif as Clown 4
William Forsythe as Clown 5
Tyler Mane as Clown 6 (aka Biggs)

1) Three Men And A Baby
2) Fright Night
3) Short Circuit

[Bill 1981]

Rob Zombie's Short Circuit

Synopsis - Military Rape Bot Johnny 5 (voiced by Brad Dourif) escapes from a top-secret military installation underneath a trailer park. Topside, Johnny 5 meets the local rolling whorehouse owner Stephanie (Sherri Moon-Zombie) and proceeds to rape her violently. After falling in love with her new fuck toy, Stephanie tries to keep Johnny 5 hidden from the evil General Cooter Higgins (Tom Towles). With brilliant Scientist/Engineeer Bill Crosby (Bill Mosely) who discovers Johnny 5's individual sentience, Stephanie & Crosby stop at nothing to keep the bot hidden until an ultra violent rape session involving robots, farm animals and the military... Johnny 5 emerges from the ordeal with the anuses of the soliders he anally fisted to death he wears as a necklace around his robotic neck. Stephanie, Crosby & Johnny 5 live happily ever after.

1) Dracula
2) Rocky Horror Picture Show
3) Porky's

[Jus-X]

Rob Zombie's Dracula

After traveling to the land of Transvest-ill-vania, Reinfield (Brad Dourif) goes to Castle Dracula to finalize a transferral of Carfax Abbey in London to Count Dracula (Sherri Moon Zombie) After Reinfield makes the mistake of calling Dracula "Countess", she gets pissed, bares her fangs, and bites down. After entering into a trance-like state, Reinfield get raped by Count Dracula with a cucumber. Reinfield turns into part of the Legion of the undead, and dresses in a revealing nightgown. After traveling to London, Dracula goes on a feeding frenzy. Biting and raping as many men as she could.

Fast forward 20 years. London is overran by vampires who crossdress and rape eachother and enjoy it. The American and US governments devise a plot to invade England and destroy the vampires. They come with tanks, army trucks, and lots and lots of weapons. the battle ensues, there's lots of over-the-top deaths and blood and guts and gore, the movie ends with Europe being nuked Living Dead style.

1) Wolf
2) Jurassic Park
3) Lost Boys

[SlasherFreak]

Count Dracula (Sherri Moon Zombie)

LOL :lmao:

Thats some comedic shit right there!

[MysterioMan007]

Rob Zombie's The Lost Boys
Sam and Michael Emerson move with their stripper mom, Lucy, to a trailer park in California to live with their father (and grandfather) whose molestation of Lucy as a child produced Sam and Michael. Once in town, Michael is drawn to a porn actress named Star who runs with a pack of guys whose night life includes more than just the typical coke habit and rape spree. They are vampires and they love to skullfuck their victims. Once Michael starts to become a Skullfucker after a gang rape by the vampires, Sam turns to the Frog Brothers, a couple of ex-cons who run a prostitution ring from their comic book store, in order to stop all of the skullfucking. The twist in this movie is that the Frog Brothers and Sam are the villains...because let's face it, anyone who tries to stop skullfucking is a villain. That said, the skullfuckers all go down in a blaze of glory while Freebird plays in the background because they are sympathetic skullfuckers.

Starring Nick Mennell as Michael, Daeg Faerch as Sam, Sheri Moon-Zombie as Lucy, Danielle Harris as Star, Rob Zombie as Max, and Sid Haig, Diamond Dallas Page, Danny Trejo, Ken Foree, and William Forsythe as the vampire gang. Corey Feldman reprises his role as Edgar Frog since he still looks about 12 and can hook Zombie with some "good shit".

Next:
A) The Breakfast Club
B) Disturbia
C) Napolean Dynamite

[On a Pale Horse]

Breakfast Club

4 High School kids are sentenced to Saturday Detention. They are a girl who keeps to herself (and moonlights as a stripper), a date rapist jock, a nerdy kid who fondles female corpses at his parents funeral parlor, and a rich girl who's mother is in jail for killing her husbands mistress. After 3 hours of boredom in the library, cabin fever sets in the motley crue decides to rebel against their dickhead principal and the restrictive society he represents. So they run through the halls and vandalize the school, make a lot of noise....and torture and kill their principal.

1) Exorcist
2) Psycho
3) Wizard of Oz

[Jus-X]

Rob Zombie's Psycho

After a terrible,.horrible, no-good, very-bad skull fuck of a rape, Marion Crane knocks out the bastard and steals his wallet with all of his credit cards and cash. After Marion steals all of the money out of her rapists accounts, she runs away. On the 7th hour of her getaway she begins to swerve on the road, and decides to stop at a Motel. After meeting the bewildering white trash hick, Norman Bates, she settles in her room and takes a shower.

Unbeknowingst to Marion, there's a peephole and Norman sees the whole show, while whooping and holaring and beating off louder than anything you've heard in your life, but Marion seems to not hear any of it. Minutes later an assailant walks into the room, you see the assailant right away, it's Norman dressed in woman's clothing and a mask that looks like it's made out of rotting human flesh. You would think he would be the stealth and quiet Norman we're used to in the other movies, but this one roars in the sound of a woman's voice, a blood-curdling roar! A startled Marion slips and falls, and Norman stomps Marion to a bloody pulp and leaves, minutes later returning in his own garb and yelling, "Mama! What da fuck did ya do you cock cocking papa-fucker!?" And cleans up the mess.

Fast forward a couple days, and Marion's sister, Lisa, starts looking for her missing sister. She stops at the Bates motel with her fiancee to see ask around to see if her sister has been there or not. After several clues, they find Marion was there! They go up to investigate the Bates house when Norman goes shopping, and is shocked to find the corpse of Norman's mother, father, mother's mistress, sister, and brother... then Lisa's world goes spiraling down When Norman shows up and does all of their voices and personalities while trying to kill them.


American Werewolf in London
Mac And Me
Dazed And Confused

[MysterioMan007]

Rob Zombie's An American Werewolf In Amsterdam

Two American serial killers go to Amsterdam in search of some porn and to have as many possible orgies as possible. Once there, they are attacked by a giant monkey. One of the friends is killed, but the other survives. As the survivor tries to regain his strength so that he go out and skullfuck more victims, he begins to become a monkey himself. Even worse, his dead friend keeps appearing to him in drag and keeps yelling at him that all he does is "cry and shit, cry and shit". He also offers him a quarter to let him suck on his nipples. In the end, the survivor becomes a rapid ape and is gunned down by police after going on a rampage. Freedbird also plays in the background during the climax.

Rob Zombie gave the following interview about his new remake:

"Yeah, I chose to change the location and shit because I don't like fucking London. Amsterdam is where the shit happens and it's fucking legal. And I don't think we'll be having any fucking werewolves in the movie. I think we'll just have a giant monkey with sharp teeth. Fuck werewolves. I don't give a shit about the title. This movie is about a fucking killer monkey in Amsterdam."

Starring Sid Haig and William Forsythe

Die Hard
Pretty Woman
The Departed

[Special Killa B]

Rob Zombie's DIE HARD

NYPD Detective John McClane flies down to Kentucky to visit his porn star wife who has just won an award for best performance in a porno. Everyone meets in the local trailor park for the fun, partying and orgies in celebration as John arrives to meet his wife. John and his wife Holly have an argument about Holly's latest film called "Skull Fucked" and says he doesn't appreciate another man skull fucking her on camera. Holly steps away for a moment to give a thank you speech for her award win when suddenly twelve rednecks with shotguns and in pickup trucks roll into the trailor park and begin raping and taking hostages. In all the confusion John slips away out of sight and goes on a one man war through the trailor park against the twelve red necks to save his wife. "YIPPE-KI-YAY SKULLFUCKER!!

John McClane: William Forsythe
Holly Gennero-McClane: Sherri Moon Zombie
Hans Gruber: Billy Ray Cyrus
Hans' Henchmen: Tyler Mane, Danny Trejo, Sid Haig, Bill Mosely, Diamond Dallas Page, Ken Foree
Sgt. Al Powell: Brad Douriff


The Matrix
Smokin' Aces
You Me and Dupree

[Sean [The Wildcard]]

Due to recent events...

ROB ZOMBIE'S: SPIDERMAN

[Jus-X]

;381793']Due to recent events...

ROB ZOMBIE'S: SPIDERMAN
I gotta do Special Killa's first, but I'll include this on my new list...
Rob Zombie's DIE HARD

NYPD Detective John McClane flies down to Kentucky to visit his porn star wife who has just won an award for best performance in a porno. Everyone meets in the local trailor park for the fun, partying and orgies in celebration as John arrives to meet his wife. John and his wife Holly have an argument about Holly's latest film called "Skull Fucked" and says he doesn't appreciate another man skull fucking her on camera. Holly steps away for a moment to give a thank you speech for her award win when suddenly twelve rednecks with shotguns and in pickup trucks roll into the trailor park and begin raping and taking hostages. In all the confusion John slips away out of sight and goes on a one man war through the trailor park against the twelve red necks to save his wife. "YIPPE-KI-YAY SKULLFUCKER!!

John McClane: William Forsythe
Holly Gennero-McClane: Sherri Moon Zombie
Hans Gruber: Billy Ray Cyrus
Hans' Henchmen: Tyler Mane, Danny Trejo, Sid Haig, Bill Mosely, Diamond Dallas Page, Ken Foree
Sgt. Al Powell: Brad Douriff


The Matrix
Smokin' Aces
You Me and Dupree

Rob Zombie's The Matrix

This movie will not necessarily be a remake, but more of a reboot. It will start with a black family running from a linch mob of rednecks. The boy, Jack Jackson, escapes but gets seperated from his family. After doing some soul searching, Jack gets approached by a group of freaky looking model-like people. They explain that the torn up piece of shit world he lives in is actually contolled by machines, and the world is a program designed to keep him believing he's in a real world, when in fact, his life would be so much better in the real world.

Jack agrees with this statement, and accepts the red pill. After months, he regains use of his muscles and begins training. The ship's opperator is a crazy looking porn junkie who gets caught at watching matrix scrambled porn. After some introduction programs of how to get laid by the chicks on board, he starts his training learning many martial arts skills. Then the training of freeing his mind.

After a year of training he created a new Alias, Morpheus. Skanknut, the operator, explains it's time for him to be reinserted into the Matrix, and that if he sees an Agent, theiir week spot is their eyes, and a glitch in there programming makes them stop all movement at the signs of penises.

So Morpheus, Creammouth, Dillweed, at Captain Obvious all go back into the Matrix. After Captain Obvious gets the shit beat out of him by an agent, Morpheus dropped his pants and skullfucked the agent until the agent exploded. After tending to the dying captain, the Obvious urged Morpheous to find The One and he will help win the war against the Machines. Morpheous then bumps his head and forgets about the agents weak spots.

After an hour and 45 minutes into the film, the next 15 minutes will be a rushed re-imagining of the oringinal Matrix. No CGI, all shakeycam fights. Cypher will be played by Sid Haig, Trinity will be played by Sherri Moon, Morpheous by Tyler Mane in black makeup.

Also starring

Danny Trejo as Dozer
Ken Foree as Tank
Brad Douriff as Apoch
Keanu Reeves as Neo
William Forsythe as Agent Smith, Jones, and Parker.

Next up
Rob Zombie's Spiderman
Rod Zombie's O Brother Where Art Thou
Rob Zombie's Eight Legged Freaks

[Special Killa B]

ROB ZOMBIE'S: SPIDERMAN

While on a school field trip in the jungle, Peter Parker gets bitten by a super tarantula from Planet El Super Beasto which gives Peter the power of a tarantula and the strength of twenty men. Peter shows off his incredible new strength as he skull fucks the super tarantula that bit him to death then hurries back catching up to the rest of the class. Peter begins life after school as he goes to work at the local newspaper. Peter's boss, JJ, is a complete jerk as he gets his kicks off masterbating to pictures in Barely Legal magazine, drinks non stop and rapes his secretary on a weekly basis. Peter lives with a huge crush on Mary Jane Watson who is currently dating his best friend Harry Osbourne. MJ wants to become bigger then Jenna Jameson in porno as she goes from audition to audition showing off her "special talents". Harry meanwhile is a typical rich kid from a rich family, however Harry lives with a deep dark secret from his childhood. Harry's father Norman used to beat and molest poor Harry when he was 10. Soon a huge threat to NYC arrives as a big breasted blonde with mechanical arms named Dr. Octopussy begins destroying the city. Dr. Octopussy uses her huge knockers to crush victim's skulls and wraps her legs around her victim's heads smothering them to death. Peter realizes the only way to stop the madness is by becoming Spider-Man and skull fucking Dr. Octopussy and destroying her with his web of sperm.

Peter Parker/Spider-Man - Daeg Faerch
Uncle Ben (Flashbacks Only) - Danny Trejo
Aunt May - Scout Taylor-Compton
Mary Jane Watson - Sherri Moon Zombie
Harry Osbourne - Elijah Wood
JJ - Ken Foree
Dr. Octopussy - Pamela Anderson

cameos by - Tyler Mane, Bill Mosley, Sid Haig, William Forsythe, Diamond Dallas Page, Bruce Campbell and Stan Lee.

Spider-Man song redone by Rob Zombie

X-Men
Scarface
National Treasure

[Jus-X]

Rob Zombie's National Treasure

During an archaelogical dig with 5 other guys, Ben Gates stumbles upon a pot bong used by Abraham Lincoln and mentions this is the key to find the treasure. Ben Gates' accomplices then turn on him, once beats the shit out of him until he falls to the ground, then they take their turns raping him and leave him to die.

Ben doesn't die, but instead comes home and uses his existing clues to get to the treasure before they do. He discovers the main clue is found in the paint of he Mona Lisa, and decides he would let the museum know that the bad guys would come and still it. The head museum manager, Abigail, explains no one could steal it, then offers him a lap dance. Ben says yes and gets carried away, raping her.

Ben, with the help of his friend Razzley, decide to steal the Mona Lisa themselves. After obtaining the historical piece of art Abigail approaches them and forces Ben to appologize about the other day, Razzley then hits her over the head and as she's bleeding all over the place, rapes her.

The Mona Lisa is then taken to Ben's father's house where they find the final clue. Ben and Razzley get to the final clue, only to be approached by the bad guys again, who followed them. The seven of them head to the Rusty Nail Strip Club and find a secret passage leading to the treasure. Upon getting the final clue, the bad guys take it and leave the two with no way out. Little do they know, mulitiple rape victim Abigail approaches them and stabs the fuck out of everyone, while yelling as loud and blood curdling as possible. After she saves Ben and Razzley, she says they could be fuck buddies as long as she could get even, both oblige, so she shoves a dildo into their eye sockets and goes to town. Roll credits.

Bill Mosely as Ben Gates
Sherri Moon Zombie as Abigail
Sid Haig as lead bad guy
Danny Trejo as Razzley
William Forsythe as Ben's dad

Next...
Day Of The Dead
Harry Potter
O Brother Where Art Thou?

[Joshg]

Rob Zombie's Harriet Potter and the Skull-Fucked Bitches

Returning to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, now as professors, sex-changed Harriet Potter (Scout Taylor-Compton), Hermione Granger (Sheri Moon Zombie) and Ron Weasley (Bill Moseley) are teaching the new batch of inbred hick wizards from the drunkard side of England how to perform basic tasks such as speaking clearly, using manners and writing competent scripts with quills instead of dipping their tools in shit stains. But when a ghost named Stinky Peterson rebels and rapes all of the first year students through the mouth, the school goes on lockdown with every teacher and studier brandishing a shotgun in hand. The next week, all of the second year students are skull fucked as well, leading Harriet, Hermione and Ronald to wonder if this is simply history repeating itself.

Searching through the corridors of Hogwarts, they find what appears to be a rusty dagger. As the third year students are raped repeatedly in graphic twenty minute much-needed scenes, Harriet's friend Hermione is overcome with realization, and kills herself, becoming a ghost accompanied by a white horse. Stinky Peterson continues to rape the entire school, but Hermione uses her dagger to fight ghost with ghost, ending in a blood-soaked finale where Harriet and Ronald lose their minds, sending them to the mental hospital in the castle. Therein, they are visited by Hermione the ghost, who enforces their insanity with little grins, before cutting to the credits, playing "Hair of the Dog" by Nazareth.

Next:
1. Transformers
2. Avatar
3. Twilight