OTH Readers: Review the Last Horror Film You Watched! [Archive]

Brett H.

07-14-2007, 02:05 AM

I started a thread like this years ago, so I figure I'll start it up again. These are reviews, so expect minor spoilers. If you have a big spoiler, tag it just in case.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

I went into the movie with low-ish expectations. I knew it wouldn't be good, but I thought being a Leatherface fan would really help. It starts off great with the first kill, Leatherface was really creeping me out there. But, then it all changes and we don't see Leatherface get his real skin mask until late in the movie. I don't know about you guys, but I've always found the dried skin face mask to be much creepier than the fresh face ones. Maybe it's because I was so accustomed to 1-3 from growing up.

R. Lee Ermey kicks ass. It's no surprise. But, in the end, Leatherface must steal the show, and I don't think the script or the director gave him the opportunity to do it. That is a damn shame because Andrew Bryniarski had the motion of him down pat for what the movie seemed to want him to be. A hulking monster who is just full of rage, emotion and brute force. Shots of Leatherface walking left me uneasy, even more so than the raving lunatic from the original. Imagine walking down the road and you see '74 TCM Leatherface screaming and spinning, you would know to turn around and get the fuck out. This Leatherface just walks, chainsaw in hand... you just don't know what to expect. Maybe until it's too late.

The Gore is great, and there are memorable scenes. It's not all bad, it's just not anywhere near as good as the remake or other TCM movies. I'll give it a 7/10 and advise you check it out.

The Dream Master

07-14-2007, 02:57 AM

Brett H.

07-15-2007, 10:46 AM

Doom Asylum

"But mom, that's incest!"

What the fuck did I just experience? I won't try to top Boo's review of this on his website, so I'll just cut to the chase: quite possibly the cheesiest slasher I've ever seen. It definately falls into the category of "so bad, it's good." If anyone ever tells you that the Friday series are bad, just point them over to this. I watched ANB right before this, and it looks like high art in comparison.

With that said, I still highly reccommend it to anyone who can't get enough of ultra-chessy splatter flicks that are both intentionally and unintentionally funny. Another interesting note: this stars Sex in the City star Kristen Davis who, as Boo pointed out in chat, manages to actually be the worst actress in the film. I couldn't believe it when Boo said it, but it's true.

I'm glad you liked it. I never promised anyone high art with this, it's just so laughable intentionally and unintentionally bad that it can't be missed. I believe I read that Variety actually commended the black and white movie within this movie and thought it was excellent contrast to the story at hand.

On a side note, it's nice to see that the Doom Asylum Curse has been lifted. See, back when I discovered this flick, I tried to convince people to buy the VHS. Drew bought it off of Ebay and it was lost in the mail. Then, WesReviews bought a copy and it got lost in the mail too! Dizzy_D was at his local Movie Gallery and found a copy, but the tape behind it wasn't Doom Asylum and the store had no idea where the tape is. I joked back then that The Coroner had to pick you for you to be able to witness his awesomeness.

The Dream Master

07-15-2007, 07:38 PM

Interestingly enough, the disc was scratched all to fuck, and I was worried it wouldn't play. It did, though, obviously.

Joshg

07-15-2007, 09:54 PM

Well, the last horror film I watched was F13 2, and I don't really want to do that. So, I'll post my Maniac review, from my blog, which I did two weeks ago. Haha, the link is in my signature. It's much better to read that review at the blog instead of here, considering there's pictures to go with it! Yes, people, pictures!!!

Enjoy:

Review - Maniac (1980)

Frank Zito is infected with a disease. A disease to kill! And through many scalpings, shotgun blasts, stranglings, throat slicings, stabbings, and chokings, he graces the terror screen with pure disgust. It's true what they say. It's a senseless film. A gory one at that. But unexplainably good. Zito (who is played by The Godfather's Joe Spinell) is overcome with memories of his mother. Memories that leave him loyal to his abusive parent, and filled up to the neck with hatred. He cannot destroy these painful feelings, and searches for helpless victims, at the beach, in the subway, or even in their own homes! Ahh! He's not afraid to go after rent-paying hookers either. And why not? It's only $100 for "The Ultimate".

However, something has struck this mama's boy's heart. The love for a sexy photographer, played by none other than Caroline Munro! Nope, I'm not that much into depth with this actress. But damn, does the back of the DVD ever make her sound interesting! Next stop, going to the showga! Or...showgirl's? Hmm. That song is one catchy tune. One may wonder as to the reason I didn't check to see what it was called. It's great though, and can be caught on the R-rated trailer. So all you youtubers can sneek in an earful of that glorious track.

So the "maniac" in question here is no doubt Zito. Right? I'm pretty sure about that. I know that there'll be extremists, who will correct me, and present me with the answer that is truly buried under all of that snow suit. It's probably something like, "the real maniac at large here if the government, for not taking away poor Frank from his horrible mother quick enough", or "the real maniac is the nurse who dropped all of her quarters in the subway, and didn't bother to pick them back up again, just because a creepy middle-aged man is stalking her." Yeah I bet that's the million dollar response. Poor, poor, pitiful me, for not thinking of that sooner.

Yes, that photographer is lightyears higher on the food chain of love than Zito, and I had to ask myself, not once, not twice, but eleven times why she would date such a...dirty looking man, whose balding, and has a bumpy skin condition. What, are we actually supposed to believe that she bases dates on soul and personality? Pfft! Looks are where it's at honey. Stay away from that caring side.

In closing, I highly suggest that, if you are a slasher fan, or just a nutty person, that you check out Maniac (1980). Special effects by Tom Savini, of Friday the 13th (1980) and The Prowler (1981) fame. You should see it for that reason alone. It's gritty, and makes you want to freshen up a bit after viewing. Yes folks, it's another one of those "take a long shower after" flicks, that we all love. My personal favorite victim? That blonde nurse, who is more than determined, not to die. Amen sister. Fight the power!

8/10

sCabbOy

07-15-2007, 10:02 PM

Not the LAST one, but close to it.

Terrorvision.

A fun Hennenlotter-esque Charles Band joint about an alien who comes through a satellite TV sygnal to try and take over the planet.

Fun movie, very 80's esque with the Cyndi Lauper clone, and a typical metal head dumb rock n roll dude and fun, fun fun.

John Carl beuchler does the SFX, and the alien itself looks so incredibly stupid that he's hilarious.

7/10

recommended for Hennelotter marks.

Joshg

07-15-2007, 10:15 PM

You know what? Reviews are fun. And I suppose this could be a good thread for short little chucks. I'll save long explanations for later. Now, I'll give some tidbit reviews:

Zombi 3

You get the feeling you are watching a very lw budget film the moment your eyes are, somewhat, glued to the screen. Blood and gore abide in this interesting, yet cheesy zombie flick, half filmed by legendary Lucio Fulci himself!

Which is probably why it fails so miserably. "What the fuck" moments leap about in this wacky flick (if you can call it that), leaving you laughing your ass off. The acting is over the top, even for Italian standards. Yes, you can tell, even when it's dubbed.

The characters are complete idiots, aside from the scientists, which serve such a poor purpose, you can't give a crap when anybody dies. Recommened for hardcore zombie fans and gorehounds. It is not for everybody, specifically those with taste.

3/10

Brett H.

07-16-2007, 03:41 AM

Interestingly enough, the disc was scratched all to fuck, and I was worried it wouldn't play. It did, though, obviously.

Well, now it's quite obvious that the Curse lives on. But, I'm sure after The Coroner realized that old-boo-radley was spreading the good news onto you, he knew he'd be in good hands.

Joshg, about the only redeeming things in Zombi 3 were the blood spray at the beginning and that AWESOME flying zombie head. Everything else is... bleh. But, that's partially to do with the fact that so many Italian zombie films had to feature the army because Dawn did it. I'm not much for the army in my horror movies. But, it was probably a good genre combo for drive-in fans back in the day.

Joshg

07-16-2007, 04:19 AM

Crawlspace

Klaus Kinski stars as a murdering Nazi, picking off tenants in his apartment building, one by one, in quite brutal ways. He spys on the young girls of his next door life through the vents in the house, where little crawling space lives. He keeps a prisoner locked up in her cage, and her tongue bottled up in a jar on his desk. This sometimes bloody, and very creepy slasher film from '86 is usually disguised as a thriller.

Malicously evil, his plans come to a halt when a man from his past, who believes that Klaus' character killed his brother when he used to work as a doctor in a hospital, starts threatening to keep an eye on him. His every move. The ending, while happy, is still depressing. The swastika signs carved into the flesh of Klaus' victims is probably, the scariest part of the movie. It's kind of unique, and I enjoy that. Good job!

7/10

Brett H.

07-16-2007, 11:51 AM

Freddy's Nightmares - No More Mr. Nice Guy

Nightmare on Elm Street prequel? Been there, done that. Yes, this episode of the short lived Freddy's Nightmares TV series is in fact a prequel to the series. A cop fucks up and doesn't read Mr. Krueger his rights. Mr. Krueger is set free. First thing he does is goes and tries to carve up some young girls. Freddy doesn't fuck around. Freddy vs. Jason explained it pretty closely, but this 45 minute episode expands a bit.

The episode starts off with Freddy explaining to the viewer that this isn't about your nightmares, oh no, this episode is about his nightmare. It starts off at his trial where the news breaks that he wasn't read his rights and the man gets set free. Yes, Freddy walks out of court in his fedora and red and green sweater. No suits for him. It looks stupid as fuck. I wouldn't expect anything more from director Tobe Hooper.

The parents of Springwood immediately get together and plan to kill Freddy. He's easy to track down... at the old, abandoned power plant. How do you know Freddy is at this power plant? His ICE CREAM TRUCK is parked outside. I shit you not, folks. I shit you not. Seriously, I shit you not. I am fucking NOT shitting you. Freddy drove an ice cream truck. Maybe he really is Freddie (if you get that, you've been a forum member for a looooooong time).

Not to spoil any more of this piece of shit/gold, but I will say when Freddy is burned alive, it's almost like watching a snuff film shot on video. Very real to me for some reason. At one point, Freddy actually climbs up onto his ice cream truck and exclaims, "Are you ready for Freddy?!" Englund is pretty good, but as I expected, this series really needed some work. With that being said, there is light at the end of the tunnel. Or darkness may perhaps be a better word. In a memorable scene, Freddy leaves a note written in blood saying (you can hear Freddy say it as well) "I'm burning in hell, wish you were with me" on the Sheriff's desk and it explodes in beautiful Renny Harlin-like fashion.

Do I recommend this? Definitely. Is it good? Not really. Is it bad? Ehhh, I've seen plenty worse. Watching Freddy's Nightmares is like watching Freddy bits that you never knew existed. It's a very surreal feeling to a longtime fan to see Freddy do something different. It's just too bad he wasn't in the episode more. I'll give this one a 5/10, but it's a must see for a true fan of the NOES series.

Ghostface

07-16-2007, 05:34 PM

I just watched 'Friday the 13th Part 3' in honor of Friday the 13th and I can't remember what horror movie I watched before it, so here goes: Part 3 is my favorite of the series because it is one of the first four. It has human Jason running and getting hurt! Jason works better when he's human and not all zombiefied! :mad: I could go on but, it wouldn't be anything you guys haven't heard before. :eek: Oh yeah, Part 3 has Shelley!

Joshg

07-17-2007, 01:38 AM

The Church

This Dario Argento film of his late career definately doesn't lose any points for creativity. Making sense is sometimes hard, but it's violent, and fun. This is the best he's done hallucinatory. Suspiria was the best hallucination film, but the WTF moments in The Church are classic.

WTF?: A lady is banging her husband's head against a bell!
WTF?: A mother yells at her husband to get onions, while he's stuffing his daughter's mouth with soap!
WTF?: A young boy is suggested to have made out with himself!
WTF?: No one seems hysterical that a woman just got impaled in the neck!
WTF?: Goat demons!

Well, this was one pile of "what the fuck"? But it was fun, and interesting; unique, and eerie. The film really picksup with its purpose at about the hour mark.

5/10

The Dream Master

07-18-2007, 01:58 AM

I have a double review for this evening: John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness, and the Freddy's Nightmares pilot, No More Mr. Nice Guy.

Prince of Darkness

We are transmitting from the year One-Nine-Nine-Nine.

Tall Man was talking about this in chat, and I was compelled to go back and watch it again. I stand by my assertion that this is one of Carpenter's more underrated films, and it's probably the second last great film he did (with In The Mouth of Madness being the last). There's something completely unsettling about this film, which probably lies in the subject matter, as anything of a religious/apocalyptic nature is creepy. Carpenter's score probably contributes a lot to the uneasiness as well, as it provides a ton of tension and atmosphere. There's not a ton here for gore-hounds, as Carpenter relies mostly on the overall tone of the film to un-nerve you. Perhaps the creepiest part of the film is the subconscious transmission that eventually serves to turn the film on its head and twists the ending, as Carpenter opts to leave the viewer with something ambiguous that demands attention and interpretation. This one comes highly reccommended, especially if you're a fan of Carpenter anyway.

8/10

No More Mr. Nice Guy

Are you ready for Freddy?

My viewing of this last night marked the first time I'd ever seen this before, and I wasn't that disappointed, to be honest. It definately had a made-for-TV quality, but was somehow just intriguing enough to keep me interested. My biggest problem with the story itself is that it conflicts with the established NOES mythos, which is pretty much unforgivable considering this aired a year after the release of Dream Warriors. I also don't understand why Englund is pretty much bathed in shadows for the entire episode, as I was really looking forward to seeing a human Freddy. At any rate, I think this (along with Freddy's Dead) serves as a decent reason why we'll never need an Elm Street prequel. This probably could have been a lot better if it were a feature film (in terms of gore and production values), but honestly, I don't the subject of Freddy's human exploits demands that. Thus, I thought this episode served its purpose fairly well. It was a lot of fun to watch, and I'll give it extra points for Freddy's ice cream truck and the fact that Fred obviously didn't give a fuck about wearing a nice suit to his hearing. He's one crazy son of a bitch, that Freddy.

6.5/10

sCabbOy

07-18-2007, 02:02 AM

A Night To Dismember.

Pretty much what a slasher directed by Ed Wood would look like. It was horrible, but so damn unique. I loved it.

4/10

The 5th Golden Girl

07-18-2007, 02:23 AM

Dead Silence

I expected better from the creators of the Saw movies. Ventriloquist dummies are creepy by nature, but this movie somehow manages to make them extremely boring. There's only so many times you can show a dummy's head turn or his eyes move without any other action before it grows repetitive and silly. The basic story is fine, but the movie didn't hold my attention well. I think I would have liked the ending more if the movie hadn't been such a waste building up to it, and I found the "I directed 'Saw' like this, so now I'm going to end the movie with a video-clip montage of the twist ending" by James Wann ridiculous. I hope he doesn't plan on ending all his horror movies like that.

On the plus side, what little we see of Mary Shaw is creepy, the faces of the victims reminded me of "The Ring," the lead actor was cute, and I love the idea of sound stopping before an attack occurs.

Would I buy it? No. Would I watch it again? No. Do I regret watching it? No. Would I recommend it to others? Depends.

I'll give it a 3/10.

CampNewBlood

07-18-2007, 03:20 AM

Last one I saw was Dead Silence also....and I really liked it. I give it 8/10.

I did buy it.

I do recommend it.

Make you choice peoples. Buy it or don't. Watch it or don't.

Brett H.

07-18-2007, 09:43 AM

A Night To Dismember.

Pretty much what a slasher directed by Ed Wood would look like. It was horrible, but so damn unique. I loved it.

4/10

This is one of the only movies I've turned off, not being able to make it through.

mcilroga

07-18-2007, 10:01 AM

***SPOILERS AHEAD*** (believe me, you don't want the ending ruined for you)

You don't need to tell me I was very generous with the following review... what can I say? I had a blast.

I just finished Dead Silence. I give it a solid B

The Bad

Far-fetched scenes

The climax or lack thereof when Jamie and Detective Lipton are at the old theatre seemed so ridiculously improvisationalized it wasn't even funny. Yes, the atmosphere was wonderful, and the dolls moving their heads in unison was creepy (as were their faces, matter of fact), but I was rolling my eyes at how seemingly unthoughtful and unplanned it was. This was supposed to be scary? Oh, and did anybody catch the doll from the Saw franchise in that one shot? That was a nice little homage [to a film made by the same damn director, no less. Coincidence?]

Ryan Kwanten

I found him pretty irritating. Yes, he acted some of his scenes in a good method... that was the problem. Some. Most of his scenes (aka: most of the movie), on the other hand, were performed ranging from mediocre to just plain putrid. It's hard to get into a film where your main lead is a subpar actor -- thank God for a great supporting cast. And I mean great because no one besides him had any trouble with their roles. Besides such, I wasn't a big fan of the character Jamie from the get-go. He seemed too typical and had no special qualities about him. That said, I loved Detective Lipton and am a fan of Donnie Wahlberg.

Henry Walker's murder

Wasn't too big on his little offing. He was one of my favorite characters in the film; a wise, old man. We have a lot to learn from someone like him. All throughout the movie I was praying he would live as he was the only help Jamie had (at the time), and then he bit it and while his final scene was really suspenseful, I was agitated by his passing. I don't know, he just seemed really innocent and undeserving. The creators should have most definitely let him live and his wife bite it instead; the cow.

The Good [which annihilates the bad]

The cinematography

Flawless. For starters, there was a wide array of blending from shot to shot, which I admired. For example, after Jamie's wife's death, cinematographer John Leonetti uses a very neat effect by amalgamating one eye to make another eye and then paning out... twice on the same person, Jamie. It is hard to explain, but I thought it was a neat little camera trick. Also, after Jamie arrives at Ravens Fair, John makes a town sign become a live action scene of the road Jamie's driving on and we watch his car accelerate. I don't have the technical terms (I have never taken a film class), but I know neatness when I see it. So yes, the cinematography all-throughout the film was superb.

The atmosphere

Really proficient. The film has a large scale of colors in certain scenes which strongly benefited to the film's visuals. You don't want to see an all-blue or all-green scene, and Dead Silence makes sure you don't. It's nice to see colorful shit once in awhile. Also, the weather was always different. I picked up on this a third into the movie; it was either hot or cold, rainy or had been raining, and sunny or cloudy. I enjoyed this. I've said that visuals are one of the most important aspects in film, and this little flick proves this for me.

The music

What a score! [yes, deserving of an exclamation point] Charlie Clouser needs to win something (anything) because the piano work on this film was sensational. I was especially a fan of the soft keysings that were played recurrently, which benefited what I would believe to be otherwise banal sequences. I always knew music was the difference between a good film and a bad film... this one further proves my point. Effective work, if you ask me... and it's nice to know that not all recent music is garbage. That's right, play this shit on the radio instead of Rihanna.

The dolls

...Were creepy as fuck. Hands down, the scariest set of dolls (especially Billy) I've ever seen -- more-so than Chucky, the doll from Dolly Dearest, Jigsaw's dummy, or anything found in the local Toys "R" Us, etc., etc... The faces were just downright terrifying, and what got to me mostly was the little curved smile on their painted face, and the commanding eyes. I didn't like it when the camera paned away from them and onto Jamie or another person, because I knew that when the shot came back to them they'd be in a different position, mouth creviced; something along those lines. Which in turn left me in suspense, and to reiterate, I give gratitude to the cinematographer. Oh, and the fucking sound of their necks moving. Had me cryin' like a whiny school-girl.

***context of the film***

The opening

The opening gained my interest, and set me up for the ride that was to come. I was glad to get right into the story, and not spend forty-five minutes merely lingering around direly questioning myself when the fuck I would see something of a little relevance. Nope, right away the audience gets Billy in a package; the little shit. And the murder of Jamie's wife was great to get so early pn so as I did not feel anything for her character because by the time I learned her name, she was offed. Great death scene too, for the record. Hey... I even learned something. The etymology of the word "ventriloquist". That was a neat little fact, and stayed on topic. Then came the opening credits; whoever edited those gets two big thumbs up courtesy of me.

Memorable scenes

I kid you not... James Wan can actually direct a lasting scene -- I was quite surprised myself. Not only do many sequences showcase suspense and terror, they actually advance the plot and *gasp* have you liking the characters and wondering what will happen next! [yes, there's that exclamation point again] For example, the flashback from Henry's point of view with Marion and her doll at the theatre... and the douche bag that interrupts her session with "zomg you lips ah moving beatch." I truly enjoyed that scene, favorite in the film besides the ending, because Marion a) creeped me the hell out, b) it was suspenseful and scary, and c) it had me pondering as to what would happen abutting. It had a great atmosphere, great acting, cinematography, and advanced the plot too. When all is said and done, it is basically the eminent showcase in Dead Silence.

The ending

Oh hell yeah! Classic, classic ending, which I will remember for years to come. It entirely made up for the bullshit forced improv-type climax that I so despised. James Wan is known for his memorable plot-twists, and this one is the best ending he's ever directed. To think that Jamie's father was dead the entire time and was being controlled by a ventriloquist? Man, it fucking knocked my socks off [the woman can do a hell of a man's voice, by the way] The music, the cinematography, the editing -- everything (especially Jamie's death; thank God he was killed already). I heart that ending so very, very dearly, and can not fathom nor believe it could be disliked.

In closing, I really enjoyed Dead Silence, and deem it one of the best horror films of the year. It is a shame I did not get to catch this in theatres, but I saw James Wan's attachment and remembered how much I hated/hate the Saw franchise... and that was my mind all made up for me. However, this movie is solid proof that not all of the man's creations are putrid. And on a whole level, Dead Silence was a much better (and scarier) movie than Saw. You know, one without underdeveloped characters, many laughable sequences, piss-poor acting, zero atmosphere, etc., etc. Now let's hope they leave this one alone and keep it sequel-less.

Lance Lives

07-18-2007, 06:50 PM

Night of The Demons:
A classic of course. Love it everytime I see it. It's so '80s it's ridiculous. I kind of consider it the other punk horror movie beside ROTLD, even though nowhere as good. I'm really glad I finally got this on DVD, as the VHS I had was the R rated version and I'd never seen the extra gore or heard the "sour balls" line.

Joshg

07-18-2007, 08:48 PM

Dressed To Kill

I would hit it for ripping off Carrie's ending, if it weren't so damn good. Plus, both films are directed by the same person, Brain De Palma.

It's a giallo, a thriller, and a slasher all in one! I debated with myself as to whether or not it really was a slasher, with such a low body count (very low!!!), but I've chosen it to be. It has all the elements, and that final scene with Nancy Allen in the shower is brilliant. I felt terrible for victim #1, even if an adultress. Good film indeed! Classic.

8.5/10

El Diablo

07-20-2007, 04:45 AM

Cemetery Gates.

It's a low budget horror movie starring Reggie Bannister. It's about a giant mutated Tasmanian Devil that starts wreaking havoc in a cemetery. Yeah, you heard that right. Pure trash but it had some solid gore effects. The acting was terrible and the cast was saddled with some horrible dialogue but the film has gallons of blood and a fair amount of nudity to make up for it. There's also a funny cameo by the KNB effects guys (we get to see them die horribly) and a goofy monster suit that looks like more of a roughed up version of Razar from Ninja Turles II.

Ron

07-20-2007, 08:35 AM

Alone in the Dark

I can't begin to describe how disappointed I was with this film after hearing such good things about it. Donald Pleasance and Jack Palance were pluses so I guess that forces me to give this a 4.5/10.

The Dream Master

07-24-2007, 08:09 AM

Malevolence
(Directed by Stevan Mena, 2005, Color, 90 min.)

No One Gets Out Alive

If there were ever a prime example of a cine-splooge*, Malevolence would be it, as it borrows copiously from several horror films that came before it. The most obvious example of this is probably the generic plot that has been used time and time again ever since The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, as our protagonists end up in the middle of nowhere near a psychopath who happens to live nearby. Mena tries to throw in a few curveballs with the plot by making said protagonists be bank robbers who, out of desperation, kidnap a mother and her child. It's an interesting move because I ended up not caring about the former, while the latter became some semi-decent characters who I actually somewhat cared about. At any rate, it's a straightforward story, as most of the characters only serve to be fodder for our maniac (who looks very similar to Jason's appearance in Friday 2) living (where else?) in an abandoned slaughterhouse nearby.

So, once it gets down to it, is Malevolence any good? Somewhat. The direction is nice and full of suspsense when it needs to be. There are also some great individual shots strewn throughout the film to emphasize the desolation of the area. Likewise, there are some absolutely great shots of the killer, as Mena channels his inner Carpenter (and perhaps Steve Miner). I've always thought the killer in these types of film are better left to the shadows and corners of the screen, and Mena chooses to take this direction for the most part.

The score, while decent, is probably the area where one most sees the influence of previous films, as, at different times, it sounds as if it's trying to rip of themes from NOES, F13, and even the stingers from Halloween. Overall, this creates a pretty decent atmosphere even if you are attempting to figure out exactly what theme the film is borrowing from at any given moment.

As for the cons, I'd have to say the biggest weakness of the film is the acting. No one is particularly great, but it's not exactly the worst I've ever seen, either. Also, the film seemed particularly tame as it pertained to gore, which seemed a bit off given the opening of the film.

Overall, I'd say this is worth checking out if you're a horror fan (and, if you're not, why are you here?). It's definately a DTV title, but it's probably one of the better ones you'll find out there. I'd actually like to see what Mena could do with a decent budget and some good actors at his disposal.

The verdict: 6.5/10

*Cine-splooge is a term I'm borrowing from Blake W. in the chat because it's hilarious and an apt descriptor.

Brett H.

07-24-2007, 10:13 AM

Freddy's Nightmares: It's a Miserable Life

It's a miserable episode. There's about 4000 dreams within dreams and aside from the first 15 minutes, there's no plot. The ending has the same bullshit effect as every dream within a dream. This episode sucks. Lar Park Lincoln is fuckin' hot in it though. I'd lick her asshole and think nothin' of it.

Terrible. Only word to describe it. Freddy Krueger does come out of a deep fryer as well as mess around in a fuse box. That was pretty cool.

Speck

07-24-2007, 11:53 AM

ThanXsgiving

This is an independently made horror movie with Ari Lehman as part of the cast. I'd venture to say it was the worst piece of work I've seen in my life. The whole movie looked like it was filmed with a camcorder and you couldn't hardly understand what the people said. Things were filmed out of sequence. Poor storyline. I'd give it a 0/10. Are all independent horror movies this bad?

Ron

07-24-2007, 07:13 PM

Cannibal Holocaust

Let me begin by saying that many people will disagree with my take on this film. With that said, I think this film is weak and did not nearly live up to it's notorious reputation that many critics claim it has. A shocking exploitation film, yes. The most controversial film ever made, I wouldn't be so sure of it. The authentic animal killings, though indeed were a bit difficult to watch, were in actuality no worse than something you'd see on the Discovery Channel. Sequences of rape and torture can only disturb for so long until one becomes desensitized and numb to the next shockwave that Deodato will send through your spine. One thing that I really enjoy about this film is the underlying symbolism and the statement that is being presented to the viewer : Who really are the savages in this movie. The natives? The propaganda hungry film makers? The ending of this movie allows you to draw your own conclusions. In one of the most visceral scenes in the film we see a young adulteress impaled by a large stake, a scene in which Deodato had to prove was staged in court. If you're not really a hardcore exploitation film fan, I'd leave this one on the shelf. If your curiosity can no longer be contained however, I'd say check it out.

4/10

Brett H.

07-25-2007, 01:17 PM

I think the music brought me into Cannibal Holocaust the most. It's beautiful at the beginning, terrifying at the end. I went in looking for exploitation trash, but this beautiful score off the top just calmed my nerves and I then thought of it as a real movie. So much so that I think calling this an exploitation film (although it essentially is) is almost an outrage.

I know there's two contradictory statements there, but to me, the film meant something. I would compare it to Blood For Dracula in this sense. Blood For Dracula had incest, total degradation of women, underage rape, etc... The film has many common traits of an exploitation movie. But, the allegory of the film and the fact that it went beyond the norm make people categorize it more of an art film. And, that's how I personally see Cannibal Holocaust. In Cannibal Holocaust, we were the damn bad guys. The cannibals lived as animals, but there was a natural beauty in it in a a way (although in a horrendous way). Much liike the cute baby zebra running freely until a cheetah dashes out rips it's guts out. The cannibals weren't exploited in the film, the modern man was.

I really need to give my other 4 Italian cannibal flicks a play to see how they compare to Cannibal Holocaust.

Melanie Jarvis

07-25-2007, 05:05 PM

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

I just flat out loved this movie. It was such a breath of fresh air with all the crap that they release today. I can never look forward to any horror movies that come out these days, but this movie was spectacular. I think one of the things I liked most about it was that it takes place in a reality where all of the killings by Jason, Michael, and Freddy actually happened. They weren't movies. So, Leslie is not trying to copy what he has seen in the movies, but he is actually trying to be ranked up there with legendary slashers who, like I said, are part of reality in the movie. It shows how killers can always manage to go unseen, and talks about all the other tricks that they're so good at. I don't want to give anything away because I want you to enjoy the movie as much as I did.

9/10

Ron

07-26-2007, 09:56 AM

Melanie Jarvis

07-26-2007, 03:27 PM

Me either! I think a sequel would be really great because you know that Leslie didn't die.

sCabbOy

07-26-2007, 04:40 PM

The Last Horror Film

Starring Joe Spinell & Caroline Munro.

It's about a loser recluse bent on becoming a successful movie director. When he moves to LA to focus on his dream he realizes he'll never be successful. That's prety much when he goes crazy and starts killing movie stars, producers and drectors.

The movie has a lot in common with another Spinell & Munro movie Maniac!. It seems like Joe's character was a mirror image to Frank Zito.

Blood and gore weren't plentiful, but well done. The movie as a whole was easy to watch and recommended!

Brett H.

07-27-2007, 12:10 AM

Hellraiser: Hellseeker

After watching Hellraiser: Inferno, my expectations were less than high for this sequel, Hellseeker. But, I have been feeling like Pinhead so I figured I'd give my copy a play. Perhaps it was a little too soon to watch this film. What with me just watching one of the worst TV show episodes I've ever seen, It's a Miserable Life from the Freddy's Nightmares series, this film actually is very similar. There's a lot of dream within a dream/hallucinations in the film. So, for most of the time I was annoyed by this, but when the film really got going, I enjoyed it enough.

Trevor is a man who lost his wife, Kirsty (Ashley Laurence from the first three films) in an accident in which he was at the wheel. For the next hour, it's just Trevor trying to figure out what happened combined with some hallucinations and dreams. The problem is you always know that it's a dream within a dream or a hallucination, so the whole tirade gets old fast. However, everything changes at the end and changes your views on this a bit. What you learn at the end makes you appreciate the dreams a bit more (although it leaves you asking a few questions), but while you're watching it for the first time, you just keep saying to yourself "another fucking dream within a dream?"

Pinhead... isn't very good in this one, much like Inferno. Pinhead's dialogue has no impact like his former films. He's there as an afterthought, which is expected from the franchise in the original film. But in a sequel, I don't know why they don't focus more on the monster himself, as he is the star of the show.

At the end of the day, I don't want to spoil anything (including why the dreams within a dream stuff will probably be better upon second viewing), but the end ties things up a lot nicer than I originally thought would happen. But, the problem is you get sick of them while you're actually watching it and the nice wrapping up of it doesn't take away from the tiresome repetitive dreams that you've been watching. I can't answer why everything happened, but I admire what they did with the character of Kirsty. It's almost surreal to see her in this film, not just because she's returning, but because of what she does.

Joshg

08-01-2007, 04:49 AM

Cutting Class

With Jill Schloelen and Brad Pitt, nothing can go wrong, right? Wrong! The thing about this film is that it's not an overly bad slasher movie. It's just forgettable. I didn't feel bored in many parts, but the characters were for the most part bland, and "who cares" status. I'm including Brad and Jill in that category.

I didn't officially guess the killer's identity, but here's an interesting fact from yours truly. The whole time I was thinking, "what if the killer was ____, that would be kind of unique for the 80s, since they usually have red herrings galore, and it's never who you expect, so you take them off the suspect list". Well, with this one, pretend you're a naive little five year old, who falls for everything. What would be the logical answer for the killer's identity that;s thrown in your face? Well, when you find that out (easily) you will have your answer.

The ending almost killed it for me. "Are you cutting class again?" Whether that's the exact words or not, it is that cheesy, and reminded me of the time I watched Night School, and nearly barfed at the dumb-ass ending.

So here it goes. For a bit of blood (rare treat for '88) and sparking some interest in this "you won't miss anything" slash-fest (?), I have to give it my gut rating, and that's no pun!...No pun at all.

5/10

Joshg

08-06-2007, 09:37 PM

After Death (aka, Zombie 4)

You know, I think I may actually like this one more than Zombi 3. Which isn't saying much. After Death still sucks, much like many in the genre, but the thing that made me enjoy this one more was probably the female lead, and the crazy dancing voodoo wife. That alone made this worthwhile.

Or does it? I didn't wish for my 90 minutes back, just for a more worthy sequel to the awesome Zombie. Zombi 3 didn't live up, and neither does AD. Acting was laughable for the most part, and the gore was crazy. Not over-the-top, just silly. I like it though, and give Zombie 4: After Death a

4/10

Brett H.

08-07-2007, 11:46 PM

I actually loved Zombie 4. It was pretty much the saving grace of the Zombie pack to me. I thought the movie was just plain fun. Nothing spectacular story wise, but a fun and cheesy horror flick is never a bad way to go. I liked the fact that they used so many stereotypes of the genre, from the Necronomicon to voodoo. Hell, it even has a Dream Warriors-inspired rock song in it! Awesome! Wish I had that mp3.

MaDMaNMaRz

08-08-2007, 12:53 AM

I love Zombi 4 as well. The extremely laughable dialogue made it all worthwhile. :lol:

Ron

08-11-2007, 02:45 AM

Video Violence 1 & 2

I'd say this film was about a 7/10 because it was fun. I went into it not expecting much and was pleasabtly surprised.

Joshg

08-11-2007, 10:51 PM

Shredder (2003)

*Short Review*

Modern ski lodge slasher, that had so much potential. The video camera I could have done without, or the cheesy lines, and the passable friends' deaths made it unrealistic. If I were the characters, I think I'd cry. Uh! Dumb, but the best scene was the beginning. From the first kill to the stalking in the bedroom/shower scene. Meh, it didn't suck.

5/10

sCabbOy

08-11-2007, 11:08 PM

http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/2117/sparepartsja6.jpg

Spare Parts 1979 AKA Fleisch
VHS

It's a movie about an old lady who owns a rundown one star honeymoon motel. To make ends meet she alerts a local hospital of new quests because the hospital buys these people and basically harvests them for their organs.

Well, once the main couple get there, the husband gets captured as the wife gets away and spends the rest of the movie with help from a trucker to find her husband.

No gore, but a lot of suspense.

6/10

Joshg

08-12-2007, 08:15 PM

Killing Birds (aka, Zombie 5)
-1989

WORST of the terrible Zombi sequels. Zombi 3 and 4 (After Death) were bad, but at least they were entertaining. Killing Birds' first problem is the title. I mean, it's a zombie human flick, not a zombie bird flick. One person gets killed by a bird. Four die from a stalker. And five from zombies. Umm, false advertising!

The acting is laughable, but I nearly fell asleep two times. I questioned whether it was dubbed. Looking closer...nope. It's an English, American film. With the sound off, you'd swear it's Italian. Not recommended.

1.5/10

---------------------------

Blood Rage
-1983

Amazing! This rare slasher happened to be the very last horror VHS at Venus Video! Wow! For rent, if only for sale. That would be nice. I was thinking about lying, and saying I lost it, just to keep it, :D but I think I'll do the right thing...I mean, the nice thing, and return it. Hopefully I'll buy it once they put it for sale. But by then it may be too late! :(

What can I say? This slasher was good! I can't believe how little exposure it has received. It's dark, fun, bloody, and 'kinda' creative...sorta.

The score was probably the best thing about the film. Purely 80s. Good number in the body count department, fair character development, lumped with an eerie atmosphere. This may very well make my top 5 slasher films that are very very rare. It's on DVD, but it's cut. So I'm glad I got the VHS to see.

The thing is, it's so ironic that 'Blood Rage' was the film at Venus. I can't tell you why...but it is. Some may get why, many will not...I just...can't say. >.>

This Thanksgiving set slasher is worth an 8/10 in my books.

Brett H.

08-15-2007, 12:51 PM

Screams of a Winter Night (1979)

There are some horror movies that every horror fan has seen. Some horror movies exist and gain considerable fan base from the fact that they're truly horrifying, some gain this by word of mouth. Then, there exists the horror movies that no one has seen. Ones no one has even heard of. Ones that puts another notch in the belts of the most hardcore of the hardcore horror fans.

Screams of a Winter Night is a film that you have to go out of your way to find. You won't find this one on the shelves at your local video store, probably not even during the height of the horror VHS boom could you have been lucky enough to find this one. Code Red DVD was asked about releasing this film. They said they looked into it, but the film would never be released. Combine this with your typical amazing 80s VHS covers, not to mention the great tagline of, "In the shadow of evil, in the echo of sins. In the icy stare of moonlight, our ghostly tale begins." This movie has it all.

But is it any good?

The credits roll on a black screen, no picture at all. All that can be heard is loud winds and the frantic conversations of a family. Something is attacking them. It's genuinely creepy, your senses heightened and your imagination runs wild. After the initial scare, the film starts off much like Texas Chainsaw Massacre, with a group of teens pulling up to a creepy old gas station a thousand miles from nowhere. They tell the gas station attendant that they're going to be spending some time up at Lake Durand. Their reply? No one goes up to Lake Durand at this time of year.

Needless to say, the group goes up to Lake Durand. A creepy dude named John tells a tale of strong winds, Shataba, an Indian legend that tells of a spirit controlling the area, first sending the local tribes on their way before the farmers who came after. John is called out, being discovered that this story was just made up to scare everyone, providing all the foreshadowing you need to figure out how the night is going to go for these people.

After that the group goes inside to tell scary stories to each other. The stories consist of a weird midget like creature stalking the roadside of a deserted highway, the second of a mysterious green light in a hotel. The last of your average girl next door gone mad. Of these, the first and second are much better than the last (the tale of all too many horror anthologies), but the real gem is the wraparound story. The way the stories are presented are really typical of fiction rather than movies, and it's a welcomed change from the norm. The second tale would make a wonderful short story, and the ending is almost like a Poe tale with supernatural overtones. All in all, it's almost like The Evil Dead, between the weird music, a few great shots and the creepy setting in the woods.

Between the four tales presented in the movie, there is a shocking amount of amazing horror staples. The Indian legend, creepy cabin in the woods, eerie stories and innovative music make this one worth tracking down. Unlike most flicks made during this time, this one actually lets the viewer draw their own conclusions about some parts of the plot, working especially well in the second story. The film isn't great by any means, but it is sort of everything you would want in a horror film you just picked up from a grungy video store back in the day. Of course, the PG rating may have turned some people off.

Everything this movie offered brought me back to my childhood and it was almost like I was a kid, bringing this home from the video store. Taking my chances on a great cover, hoping it'll pay off. Back when a creepy dude in the woods was worth three plot twists, back when the mere mention of a haunted, abandoned place was all that I needed to hear to send shivers run up my spine. Back when my imagination ran wild and helped the movie be effective. Back when the acting didn't matter and directing took a backseat to good ol' fashioned story. But even back then the last story always seemed to disappoint me. I guess the first anthology I'd ever seen, Creepshow 2 just gave me high hopes that the last tale would always be the best.

Track it down, if you dare. 7/10.

BlakeTyner

08-15-2007, 08:33 PM

Though I'm not sure it counts as a "horror" film, I watched An American Haunting last night. It stars Sissy Spacek, Donald Sutherland, and Rachel Hurd-Wood and is based on the supposedly true story of the Bell Witch in Tennessee.

Overall I thought the movie was pretty good. The setting is effective and moody, and the acting from the leads was quite good (what else would you expect from Sutherland and Spacek?) The story and writing were good right up until the end, when it sort of fell apart and became a story of incest, which sort of renders the rest of the film moot. The entity that harasses the family was done quite well - there is a particular scene with something on the roof that is creepy in that Signs sort of way.

The modern day bookends of the feature were pretty good as well.

I'd give this movie a C+, because it does leave you going WTF? Definitely something you should rent, not buy.

~Blake

girlychaos

08-15-2007, 09:28 PM

Though I'm not sure it counts as a "horror" film, I watched An American Haunting last night. It stars Sissy Spacek, Donald Sutherland, and Rachel Hurd-Wood and is based on the supposedly true story of the Bell Witch in Tennessee. I'd give this movie a C+, because it does leave you going WTF?

I watched this one a while ago. I have to say I really liked it. Even though the "WTH" pretty much didn't happen to me cause I actually told my boyfriend back then what the "entity" actually was. :p

I'd say 7.5/10.

Ron

08-15-2007, 10:07 PM

Joshg

08-17-2007, 12:54 AM

Suspiria
-1977

Watched this this week.

It's one of my favorite films. My top giallo/Italian effort, with some beautiful scenes, and developed characters.

"Snakes!" Hehe, and maggots. Yucky. I love its hallucinary shots, and the swcore is nothing short of creepy.

This was my second time viewing Suspiria, and I think I enjoyed all of it, except for the kills and ending, more than the first time.

I give Suspiria, an easy 10/10.

Ron

08-17-2007, 12:57 AM

Joshg

08-17-2007, 12:59 AM

Last night I watched Sleepaway Camp for the billionth time. I think this movie is perfect in every way and is easily my favorite slasher. I also think that story was well thought out and that the twist ending hits you like a punch to the gut..I mean come on, she's a boy for crying out loud!
I give this movie a perfect 10/10.

And same to you Peter Baker. My favorite slasher film, and a 10 seems fitting to me.

I watched Slumber Party Massacre II the other day, and I've gotta say, it was a blast. 7/10. The guitar driller killer is one of my favorite killers of all slasherdom.

MaDMaNMaRz

08-18-2007, 09:28 PM

Joshg - SPM II is great. :)

I actually watched Slumber Party Massacre III the other day. I must say that this is now tied with 1 for me now. This was made in 1990, but it feels like an 80's slasher. The kills were great. None of the characters were OVERLY annoying....at least for me. The atmosphere was actually pretty good too. It was also cool that the driller killer wore a mask for a small portion of the film.

This movie is a must see for any slasher fan.

9/10

Ron

08-18-2007, 09:36 PM

Saw II

This is a film that I've seen a bunch of times, yet it seems like with every repeat viewing I notice something else. I think that is one of the makings of a great film. I also thought that Tobin Bell, Shawnee Smith, and Donnie Wahlberg all gave great, believable performances. The traps were great, and some, torturous to watch, i.e the pit full of syringes! Another great thing about this film is that it was not out-shined by it's predecessor. This film was filled with just as many, if not more, unique twists as the first. Darren Lynn Bousman also did a beautiful job in directing this.

I'd have to say this movie is a 10/10 because I know I'll be watching it again and again and again, as well as 1 and 3, in order to get pumped up for Saw IV.

Joshg

08-19-2007, 04:23 AM

Student Bodies
-1981

While it may not be overly hilarious, SB is actually, a pretty comical slasher spoof, that doesn't run dry until about the end. The goofy kills, dialogue, and awkward situations make this a must see. And I'll always remember horsehead book ends.

6.5/10

The Dream Master

08-23-2007, 03:23 AM

The Beyond

1981/Lucio Fulci

As some of you may know, I recently ordered this after hearing about it in the Random Horror Thoughts thread. I've seen only one Fulci film ever (Zombi 2, which I love), and decided it was time I finally got around to seeing more of his films.

I started with The Beyond, which is everything I'd hoped it would be, and more. Sure, it brings the gore, but for all the praise Fulci gets in that department, I rarely see anyone commend him on establishing an awesome mood in his films. He does it in Zombi 2 and he does it here, as from the opening scene, I was hooked. There's something very intriguing about the gothic/occult tone in horror films for me, and Fulci establishes this early on, much to my delight. As an aside, I really have to commend AB/Grindhouse Releases for the sound-mix on the DVD here, as it grabs you by the throat and doesn't let go as soon as the thunder kicks in at the beginning of the film. Furthermore, I'll add that this film has an excellent plot for a film that's infamous for it's gore-- it's nothing terribly complex, but it's something more than the usual "dead walk the earth." There's a little bit of mystery to the proceedings, especially as it pertains to the blind girl who haunts our protagonist.

Now, onto the good bits: the gore. There's tons of it here, and Fulci dwells on it. Extensively. While some might argue that it's there for purely shock value (a valid argument), I think there's something more to it than that. I'd argue that all the gore is key in providing a contrast that you don't quite get until the end of the film, which provides a question for the viewer: would you rather be killed slowly and painfully via quicklime or a tarantula attack, or be confined to the world of the dead the main characters find themselves trapped in by the end of the film? Thus, all the violence by the end of the film is entirely justified, but it helps that the latter scene there is one of the most terrifying, skin-crawling moments I've ever seen committed to films, and I'm not even that afraid of spiders.

My final verdict: seek this film out immediately, even though it's out of print. Either that, or wait and hope Blue Underground re-releases it at some point, as they have done other AB titles. I'd like to thank Old-Boo-Radley, Madmanmarz, and Freako for pointing me in the right direction with this. I can't believe it took me this long to check out a Fulci film besides Zombi 2. I've already ordered The Black Cat, House By the Cemetary, and I bought City of the Living Dead at a local store this weekend.

Brett H.

08-23-2007, 10:34 AM

I'm glad you liked it, DM. As far as your other titles go, House By the Cemetery is just fucking amazing (sans the bad dubbing of Bob... you'll see) and City of the Living Dead is good. HBTC has some crazy fuckin' blood and gore and the gothic mood of the film is amazing. Also, the synth score is right out of an 80s slasher. The Black Cat... you will be hit or miss on that one. It's more of a throwback to the 60's AIP Poe cycle.

I agree 100% with The Beyond and the points you made in the review are really spot on for the films you will see with your latest additions. People refuse to give Fulci credit for establishing decent plot because of this false reputation he has that all his films are gore and gore only. Are you fucking kidding me? The Beyond has no definite plot, but so much is left up to the viewer and shit actually happens in it. I don't know why some Suspiria fans call Fulci's films boring. What can you possibly find interesting in Suspiria other than some red and blue lights, two good kills and good music? It's a fucking ballet movie with witches...

House By the Cemetery is rich in plot as far as a slasher goes. And, the mood and music in all of Fulci's classics are top notch. I love the COTLD and HBTC scores, COTLD's just makes me think of doom, like the walls are closing in on you.

Fulci was a hack in the sense that he copied mainstream American ideas (Italian film industry constantly copied American films). But he did them in his own way and he did them well. He's an 70s/80s Tarantino, if you will. Fulci was a great director when he had a decent budget and cast. He's up there among the best horror directors to me.

If you like those and further venture into Fulci, you should check out Lizard in a Woman's Skin. Amazing giallo, one of the best.

Joshg

08-23-2007, 08:20 PM

And "Don't Torture A Duckling". Another giallo of Fulci's, that had been re-released!

The Dream Master

08-24-2007, 03:22 AM

See, I'm a huge Argento and Suspiria fan, but I love Fulci, too (the two films I've seen by him, anyway). I don't see why some people think they're so mutually exclusive. In fact, I believe Fulci lead me to Argento, as I saw Zombi II years ago, and began reading more about Italian horror. I ended up seeing Suspiria not long after that and got on an Argento kick, and I'm just now getting back to Fulci years after the fact.

MaDMaNMaRz

08-24-2007, 04:12 AM

101ant101

08-25-2007, 12:04 PM

Halloween 3

i wacth this every year but never seem to bond with it. the music score is good the gore bad, i just dont know why i dont really like this. but it is alright to watch 5/10

Joshg

08-26-2007, 05:45 AM

Hell Night (1981)

Terrible writing. Cheesy. Makes you yell at the characters for being so damn stupid! ("Let's climb over the gate, even though there's a hole in the fence over there that I'll go back into later on in the film")

And you know what? I couldn't love it anymore beause of it. Linda Blair, Peter Barton, Vincent Van Patten...three washed up hasbeens, but lovable ones. Hell Night is a classic, and these three are now immortalized once again.

8/10

Ron

08-26-2007, 07:41 PM

Ghoulies (1984)
I give this movie a 3/10
I like this movie, but think it's kinda dull.

Joshg

08-27-2007, 04:03 AM

Class of 1984 (1982)

I cannot give this film a rating, as I wouldn't know where to start. It's brilliantly written and I enjoyed every single character. More exploitation than horror, but there's some slasher elements towards the end. I'll surely be on the lookout for the DVD.

Joshg

08-28-2007, 11:57 PM

Leprechaun 2 (1994)

Silly, downright stupid film. Guilty pleasure, but not very eyecatching. More sad than funny, however, nice make-up on the "can...i mean chaun". Hehe,

4/10

101ant101

08-29-2007, 08:57 PM

Terror Train

Plot - A masked killer targets six college kids responsible for a prank gone wrong years earlier and whom are currently throwing a large New Year's Eve costume party aboard a moving train.

Review - finally i get to review this film that i love to death.
what you first think is oh this is your prom night rip-off but it isn't its, its own movie and a very good one as well the main thing i love is that its on a train and a killer is stalking them from a prank gone wrong, this is one of the 80's classics for sure.

the cast was very well picked out Jamie Lee Curtis puts out a fantastic performances, screams out her lungs. and the characters where very likable part. from one of the blonde girls who had a very annoying voice.

Gore - someones head gets smashed in the mirror,sword through ones stomach,and the rest is dead bloody bodies

Score - i really liked the way the music built up the atmosphere, and when we got to see the bodies there was like a rattle snake sound very well done,oh and some violins.

5/5
ADDED:
Motel Hell

Plot - Farmer Vincent kidnaps unsuspecting travellers and is burying them in his garden. Unfortunately for his victims, they are not dead. He feeds his victims to prepare them for his roadside stand. His motto is: It takes all kinds of critters...to make Farmer Vincents fritters. The movie is gory, but is also a parody of slasher movies like Last House on the Left.

Review - I cant really explain this movie it was a weird little horror/comedy. the only thing that made me laugh was that fat women, always stuffing her face. but this is a 80's classic. i hated that blonde women but other than that its a good cast.

Gore - i wouldn't say there was alot here mostly pigs getting slaughtered ,and heads gets snapped. but there was a blood fight at the end

Music -nothing really here other than a bass piano

rpchurch

09-01-2007, 03:12 AM

The Halloween Remake (2007)

Here is what I said on the Halloween message board (mostly spoiler-free):

Ok, I saw nothing of a 70s flick in here. Most 70s flicks (and I did say most) left a lot to the imagination. And, not just gore wise, either. Most of the back stories are just now being told (unnecessarily, if you ask me) now. That's because most of the guys kicking around now can't come up with their own ideas. They'd rather resurrect something old, or patch together pieces of something old and pass it off as new. Now, off my soapbox.

I liked most of the remake, and that is something I can't say about any of the Texas Chainsaw, Hills Have Eyes, etc. rehashes. Sure, there were bits that were slow but, so what? There were parts of the original Halloween that were slow, too. Not comparing the two, because there is no comparison. I'd heard this one was brutal, but it was a lot rougher than I'd guessed it would be. I didn't really dig the whole Michael as victim. But, I didn't like it when they did it with Hannibal Lecter, Jason Vorhees, et. al. But, I did see where Rob Zombie was going.

Look, the guy obviously loves his source material, and is an unrepentant metalhead. So, you're getting the sum of the parts here. I don't like the uber Michael. He was way too "awesome!" I thought it was a lot scarier when a average to slightly above average sized was pulling off all these murders. I'm also going to get bashed for this one. But, I thought the T/A was a bit extraneous. Finally, I thought Loomis came off as a schmuck. I'd have liked to have seen a little more ruthlessness out of him. Finally, did anyone notice the continuity seemed a bit off? It seemed like we jumped from the 70s to th 2000s in like 15 years. But, I can definitely forgive this.

What I liked: I thought Scout Taylor-Compton was great as the heroine. I though the kills were just sick! Very rough, and how I'd assume an actual murder would play out. The soundtrack was excellent. Zombie got some really good acting out of his cast. Ken fucking Foree is awesome! (But, can people stop introducing them selves as "I'm XXXX, bitch!" Please?) I could have used a bit more Sid Haig. But, it was nice to see Danny Trejo play a nice guy.

Lindsey Wallace and Tommy Doyle were much better actors than the original kids. And, I loved the way Zombie shot it. Very grungy and dirty looking. He was definitely watching Fight Club before shooting. Some of the shots (I'm talking to you 2X4 through the ceiling) were a bit too long. I'd have shortened the whole film by about 15-20 minutes. But, I'm feeling no buyer's remorse. $6.50 well spent. Ok, now kick the shit outta' me, you guys.

Joshg

09-01-2007, 05:25 AM

Brett H.

09-01-2007, 05:39 AM

Honeymoon Horror (1982)

Alright slasher, that feels a little sexist towards women. But good character development saves this from being a complete waste. Some beautiful shots of atmosphere plunked in some places.

5.5/10

Wow, this just reminded me of a dream I had last night. They Sobeys near me had a shitload of horror movies on DVD/VHS for sale. They had I Was a Teenage Zombie (which I want so bad, haven't seen it since I was 8 or so), The Curse 1/2 DF DVD (although it was in the style of the Hellraiser VHS I have that are "Collectors Edition: Gold Series). What else was on the shelf, on DVD no less? Honeymoon Horror.

Joshg

09-01-2007, 06:37 AM

Wow! Nostalgia DVD! That dream rocks old-boo!

I have had some DVD dreams before. Sadly, I never realise the cover art has nothing to do with the actual film until I wake up. :D

freako104

09-01-2007, 03:32 PM

The new Halloween. I enjoyed it for the most part, it gives Michael more of a reason to feel the way he does and do what he does Though at the same time, he seemed to an extent more like a mindless killer. He killed pretty much everyone. Michael from the original wasn't like that so much as if people got in his way. That bothered me as well as Loomis' death. I also hated the fact they made Michael talk when he is a child. Other than that though, great kills, in some sense more disturbing than the original.

Rich

09-01-2007, 06:27 PM

My signature says it all.

Utellme

09-01-2007, 08:54 PM

Rob Zombies Halloween was good.I cant list complaints yet cause the dvd might have them in the reshoots or deleted scenes or work print version.

freako104

09-01-2007, 09:33 PM

Rob Zombies Halloween was good.

That was my feeling on it. I wouldn't say it sucked per se like your sig Rich. Those were things I wished didn't change from the original though

Rich

09-01-2007, 10:06 PM

Well, my signature does not "say it all" anymore, because, frankly, I thought that was a little immature of me. I'll list my complaints though:

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!

- Loomis shoots Michael a shit load of times, but it is Laurie's one magical bullet that kills him.

- That scene I described above happens in a swimming pool.

- Dr. Loomis sucked ass in this movie. Loomis writes a book!? Gimmie a friggen break!

- Bracket completely disappears from the story after he finds Annie.

- Michael Myers runs at Laurie!

- Michael Myers kneels down to give Laurie a photograph and willingly takes his mask off to her.

- Rob went for a lame attempt to give the movie a Texas Chain Saw Massacre ending, and it failed miserably.

- The remake half of the movie had more of a Texas Chain Saw feel then it did Halloween.

- Michael Myers is never even shown driving, so does he pull a Jason Voorhees and walk hundreds of miles in one hour?

- Gee, for a guy (Rob Zombie) who hates remakes and "gore/slasher" movies, he sure as hell made a movie that is both.

Utellme

09-01-2007, 10:10 PM

Some of these scenes you complain of Rich may be fixed by the dvd via deleted scenes reshoots etc.The officer Brackett thing made me mad to what ever happen there ?

Rich

09-01-2007, 10:33 PM

Deleted scenes can not fix anything. They were deleted and no longer a part of the story.

Utellme

09-01-2007, 10:42 PM

Not just deleted scenes but reshoots workprint version etc.I'm gonna wait until the dvd comes out and it might clear up some of these things.

101ant101

09-02-2007, 06:36 PM

Halloween *2007*

i found it quiet a good remake/prequel to me he done a good job. the music what he chaned and mixed worked and the scare scenes some could of been better. 4/5

Joshg

09-02-2007, 06:47 PM

Halloween 2007 (Workprint)

Basically, I won't go into a big review because a) I'm tired, b) all the negative things I'm aiming at have already been said.

So I'll give my rating of 4.5/10, rounded down if needed.

101ant101

09-02-2007, 06:51 PM

Joshg

09-02-2007, 10:12 PM

Dark Ride
-2006

Six teenagers go on a road trip, and check out a spooky amusement park ride, known as "Dark Ride". But little do their mushroom loving minds know, that a crazed escaped maniac, is stalking their every move. Twists, and a fairly likeable cast make this ride a treat, especially that it has absolutely no CGI. Back to the make-up, this really deserves a home with the 80s slashers. At least, its formula does.

Gory, violent, spooky, and somewhat comical (though not annoyingly) gives Dark Ride a boost from other post-Scream slasher thrills. Again, I say, the make-up helped make this movie a bunch, and the creative kills (including a girl's head getting hacked off while performing oral) are just another precious delight. Seek this one out. Weird, but entertainment.

7/10

hack slash

09-03-2007, 05:45 PM

Well, my signature does not "say it all" anymore, because, frankly, I thought that was a little immature of me. I'll list my complaints though:

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!!!

- Loomis shoots Michael a shit load of times, but it is Laurie's one magical bullet that kills him.

- Michael Myers runs at Laurie!

- Michael Myers kneels down to give Laurie a photograph and willingly takes his mask off to her.

in response to your post

Loomis only shoots Michael in the back 3 times and 2 of those times were in the shoulder, Laurie's "magical bullet" as you called it:side: was a shot directly to the HEAD so I don't see the problem there

Why is it a problem that he ran? that makes no sense

as for the last one I quoted I guess it gives you something to complain about
if you didn't like it, that's fine but some of the reasons I see why people say they didn't like sounds alot like stretching for a reason not to like it.

IMO Halloween '07 was better than Halloweens 2 -8 and better than the Friday the 13th series with the possible exceptions of 4 and 6 but for me it's close.

I liked the acting pretty much all around, my only problem there was Lynda, for some reason she just bugged me, Daeg(little Michael) was alot better than I thought he would be, Sheri Zombie was a pleasent surprise as Debra Myers, Tyler Mane was awesome as Michael.Loomis dying was surprising but I'm glad the movie ended with such Finality.
I would highly recommend this movie to anyone

I do not want a sequal

101ant101

09-03-2007, 07:46 PM

i wouldn't mind a sequel. i want them to do a remake of the 3rd but have micheal in there

Rich

09-03-2007, 07:58 PM

Why is it a problem that he ran? that makes no sense

Because Michael Myers doesn't run. It is too out of character...kind of like Freddy playing Nintendo.

Halloween '07 was better than Halloweens 2 -8 and better than the Friday the 13th series

No way man. Friday 1-4 totally kick Rob's movie's ass. Halloween 2-4 (including 3) totally kick Rob's movie's ass. Rob's movie was nothing more then a generic over exploitive slasher film (the kind of film that Rob himself claims to hate) in disguise as Halloween.

Tyler Mane was awesome as Michael

No Tyler Mane was awesome as Leatherface in Michael's mask.

The Dream Master

09-03-2007, 08:02 PM

The only two Halloween films that are even close to being as bad as the remake are H20 and HR, and that's not saying much if you make a film better than those two. The first three especially are leagues better than the remake. Say what you want about Halloween 3, but even it had more to do with the Halloween than Zombie's remake.

hack slash

09-03-2007, 08:03 PM

see that's why opinions are cool, we all get to have one:D

101ant101

09-03-2007, 08:15 PM

tyler mane wqas good as micheal and the remake is better than the 3rd

Rich

09-03-2007, 08:31 PM

I'm going to take 101ant101'a side on one thing here. I think Rob's Halloween was better then Halloween 5. I think it was also probably better then H20 and Resurrection and on the same level as The Curse of Michael Myers. I still think the first four Halloween movies (including part 3, which is a better film then Rob's) own the series, just like Friday.

101ant101

09-03-2007, 08:35 PM

Joshg

09-04-2007, 01:23 AM

Aside from about four major flaws, Halloween 5 is a good slasher flick. Odd Halloween, but good slasher. That barn is creepy!

Anyways:

The Unholy
~1988

Film about priests being killed during their sinning. Father Michael takes a job (?) at a New Orleans Catholic church, three years after Father Dennis died before him. But something's not right. Minnie, a waitress at a club, who had met Dennis before he died, is now fixating herself on Father Michael. As if that weren't enough, the club owner is on Mikey's case. Michael is sexually tempted, yet unlike the ones before him, is able to overcome this, thus the battle between good and evil begins.

Funky film. Cheesy, gory, and interesting effects. Nice female nudity that comes off as beautiful, not trash. Characters, aside from Hal Holbrook, are likeable, and the mini "did-you-catch-that?" twist at the end was a nice touch.

Overall: 7/10

Brett H.

09-04-2007, 02:06 AM

sCabbOy

09-04-2007, 02:21 AM

Blood cult
1985

One of my more favorite slashers from my childhood, maybe because of the visual gore.

The movie is basically about a cult of devil worshipers killing college women and harvesting their body parts for sacrifice. The movie has some really nice gore for such a cleaply made movie- it was shot on VHS. The story is really interesting, and like I said for a cheap movie is is very easy to watch.

5.5/10

Joshg

09-04-2007, 03:31 AM

I liked this movie, too bad my VHS was in such shitty shape when I bought it. I could barely make out the bush, had I not known it was there.

Was the bush as red as it's been in my dreams?

Haha, um, I remember seeing some bush. Not that red.
Hehe,

Anyways, not horror, but spoofish perhaps?

Return of the Killer Tomatoes
~1988

I definately enjoyed this more the second time around. A lot of groans, yet some pretty funny parts, including -- a toaster loving tomato, -- and uh...I forget. The female lead was veyr likeable.

5/10

101ant101

09-05-2007, 05:51 PM

Wrong turn 2

dissapointment 2/5

hack slash

09-05-2007, 06:03 PM

Wrong turn 2

dissapointment 2/5

on the Wrong Turn 2 thread you gave it a 4/10:p

I'm reviewing the same flick it was OK not gonna rush to buy it or watch it again, the kills are cool about 85% of the acting is atrocious the VERY watery looking blood flows but with the gore I can still only give it a 5/10

101ant101

09-05-2007, 06:18 PM

on the Wrong Turn 2 thread you gave it a 4/10:p

I'm reviewing the same flick it was OK not gonna rush to buy it or watch it again, the kills are cool about 85% of the acting is atrocious the VERY watery looking blood flows but with the gore I can still only give it a 5/10

i no. im doing the other way round now.:D

Joshg

09-05-2007, 07:04 PM

LOL, 4/10 = 2/5!!! Hehe,

hack slash

09-05-2007, 07:09 PM

i know that notice the:p

Joshg

09-05-2007, 07:16 PM

Hehe, I know. :P

Anyways, I'll be watching Doom Asylum in a second, so a review will be up! Hooray!

101ant101

09-05-2007, 09:40 PM

Hehe, I know. :P

Anyways, I'll be watching Doom Asylum in a second, so a review will be up! Hooray!

thats good i wanna see that

Joshg

09-06-2007, 02:01 AM

Doom Asylum
~1987

Hehe, oh wow. We have ourselves a sure winner here. Bad acting, cheesy writing, filler with flashbacks and older Universal films...gory and fun.

As a film, I'd give it about a 5/10, for entertainment value, 8.5/10. Kristin Davis is a bad actress here, but develops as the film moves onward. "Ha, ha, ha, haaaaa!" Weird Madonna wanabe's laugh is hilarious, as is her friends' speech. Romance intertwined as well, I have a feeling that this film was intended to be a slasher-comedy, somewhat.

It must have been shot on film, but edited on video. It sure looks that way. It's one to have in your collection, if you can handle extreme cheese. Recommended.

Doom Asylum - 5/10

The Dream Master

09-06-2007, 02:09 AM

Joshg, Old-Boo-Radley will be happy to see your review there.

And I agree 100%. It's terrible, but you can't resist its charms.

MaDMaNMaRz

09-06-2007, 08:05 AM

I love Doom Asylum! :)

Brett H.

09-06-2007, 12:10 PM

Indeed, Doom Asylum was shot on film and edited on video.

mcilroga

09-09-2007, 11:44 PM

Creepshow

I've seen it a thousand times before, and to this day, the tagline does not lie to me. Off-hand, I can not think of any better horror film to watch if you want to have a blast. It's fun, creepy, entertaining, comical and scary to boot. I watched it in honor of the upcoming R2 DVD release of the movie, which I'll of course be picking up the minute I can get my hands on it.

Creepshow... yeah, I once again enjoyed it from start to finish. All the stories in it are genuinely awesome. My favorite of the five is 'The Crate' because I find it blends scariness, humor, and overall thrills (slightly) better than the rest in the bunch and while campy and cartoony, is quite a dark piece. Also, the funniest line in Creepshow comes from that story, and that is "Billie"'s satirical and sarcastic "well, that was just great, Henry..." after Henry stopped shaking here and was surprised to find that the creature hadn't come out of the crate to grab the bitch. :lol:

Second favorite story is 'Something To Tide You Over'... yes, it's not just a great title. Why it's a great fucking movie too! Leslie Nielson is just phenomenal at playing villains, and his character is absolutely merciless, and was a pleasure to get caught up in. It's a great feeling cheering antagonists' deaths/murders, and thanks Leslie for not letting me down. Good job, man.

Anyway, the rest of the stories, while inferior to the two aforementioned, are quaint little flicks, and intriguing from head to toe. There's 'They're Creeping Up On You' which is by far the creepiest story in Creepshow; the scary 'Father's Day' and the worst though still good 'The Lonesome Death Of Jordy Verrill'. So there's the first sequel which is great, and the second sequel which is a total pile of shit (not that I count it even in this series)... but nothing tops the original. Creepshow is an old-school horror fan's wet dream... always will be too.

A

Joshg

09-25-2007, 03:15 AM

The Slayer (1982)

This slasher, although similar to others of its kind, actually adds a new dimension to the sub-genre, without the uses of farfetched gimmicks. An artist finds inspiration for her paintings through the dreams she has, and swears up and down that they have more meaning than just night time occurences. Her boyfriend, her brother, and her friend escape to an island to relax for vacation; a deserted paradise. But when the artist has a dream about her boyfriend being killed, just before he disappears, she knows in her soul that more than a mere coincedence has taken place.

Overall, the film kept my attention, aside from some parts where I was distracted by my fuzzy pillow. Not too many characters made this a much more memorable affair than usual, although the title had more to do with that than anything. "The Slayer" is so perfect for a horror flick name, I can't even begin to express myself. Atmosphere is present, but there should have been more what with all the chances they had for a deserted island. Kills were fun, and acting was decent, but the writing was only average for a low-budget horror. It's a shame that the movie had such a great trailer, as that upped my expectations. I should have learned by now that trailers are deceiving, yet it wasn't a total bust. It wasn't over-the-top with gore, but I did feel as if I was watching a video nasty. Probably once again due to the title. Aww, that glorious title. Worth a watch, and definately a buy if you're into retro slashers.

Note: One moment I found genuinely creepy was the scene in the boathouse, where a woman slowly realizes she is being watched, and all she can see of the peeper is their sharp, menacing pitchfork.

6/10

***
3 out of 5 Mentions of Frozen Kittens

Joshg

09-27-2007, 01:55 AM

The Pool (2001)

A German slasher flick with English, and some well known names, like Wedding Crasher's Isla Fisher. Set in a new, fancy indoor pool, equipped with slides, weight rooms, and a liquor cabinet, the originality is clear. At first, characters are completely nameless. There must have been 11 teenagers. The good girl, the heroine, the suspicous boyfriend, the dork with no tan (:D), the 'tough guy', the guy of a different race, the flirty girl, the intelligent yet suave guy, the nice guy who drank too much, the 'other woman' whose the cheating guy's girlfriend's friend, and the two people who you have no real connection with, but associate them with the title: "Those people who had the best deaths". Add a backstory, which is later completed, mini sub plots, blood, and no cheesy extras, and you've got yourself one awesome throwback to classic 80s slasher films.

Indeed, The Pool has its downs. The soundtrack is terrible, and some of the lines come off as cheap, especially when added with faint humor in dangerous and unfunny situations. However, the acting is very good. It just looks bad because some German actors don't have their English perfected. That adds to the atmosphere on the other hand. You feel like you could be in Germany. The scoring is pretty good. Sometimes, I could see the audio being extracted (yay! big words thanks to film & video class!) and put over a clip in a retro slasher. The costume of the killer is very simple, and effective. Wielding a machete, while not original, works. Sometimes simplicity is all you need.

It pulls some unwanted cliches at times, like the "Get away from me" scene where the teenagers think that their friend is the killer. We've seen it before, let's move on! And the tired boyfriend trying to save the damsell in distress approach irked me. But the setting, score, kills, killer, characters, some atmosphere, backstory (to some extent) and execution of a straightforward non-Screamlike style hack and slash movie is truly remarkable for a year past the new millenium. This 21st Century production is a must-have for horror fans. I am actually considering it my favorite modern slasher film of all time. Until I see a better one. Which'll hopefully be soon. Thanksgiving is coming, and I'll be damned if it goes to waste!

8.5/10

**** ½
4 and a Half out of 5 Failed Biology Exams

Scarecrow

10-04-2007, 05:54 PM

Because Michael Myers doesn't run. It is too out of character...kind of like Freddy playing Nintendo.

.

Except, of course, in the very first Halloween film where he runs very quickly up onto the roof of the car the very first time we see him as an adult... ;) :p

- Scarecrow

Joshg

11-06-2007, 09:25 PM

Houseboat Horror (1989)

Ahhh, the 80s. Was there anything more precious? Does anything compare? To...SOV horror? Blech. If you know film, and you know video, I'm sure you'll agree that movies on video look like crap! Sheer crap! Strangely enough, I actually enjoyed HBH a little. A bunch, even. Shooting a music video on an island, multiple nameless houseboat renters swim out and have some sex, mushrooms and/or naked time! But not all is well. These Aussies don't know what to expect, as there is a burnt faced man, who is seeking bloody carnage; it's a revenge for his childhood mishap. Inventive kills, nice setting, and surprisingly okay writing bring this disposable trash up to a level beyond just watchable.

It's dumb, and ofcourse, there are eye catching flaws in the make-up of the killer and murders, but some were done rather well, including a throat slit, a pull away from a stabbing, the first half of an impalement (which bursts, squirting blood) and my personal favorite, the crazed stabbings from under the bed. I recommend this flick to any fair slasher fan, and definately SOV fans. It's a step-up from many others out there, I'm sure you'll agree.

6/10

***
3 out of 5 Horseshoe Eye-Gouges

Brett H.

11-06-2007, 10:40 PM

GOD, I love those 80s titles...

Kane Lives

11-06-2007, 11:29 PM

Masters of Horror: The Black Cat (2007)
5/10

Not the worst episode of this series, but not the best. Jeffrey Combs does a good job here as Poe IMO, and there are a few creepy images/moments in this show. But for the most part, I felt it was pretty bland. Although, making Poe the central character in his own story was pretty interesting I thought.

Would I recommend it? Not really, because there are much better episodes of the show to see IMO; such as "Pelts", "Cigarette Burns", "Imprint", and "Jenifer".

MaDMaNMaRz

11-07-2007, 02:03 AM

Fowlees

11-09-2007, 08:04 PM

HALLOWEEN NIGHT

A film that had real potential but ultimately was a real piece of shit. (Except for the last line which did make me laugh).

Steer clear.

Joshg

11-10-2007, 12:27 AM

Friday the 13th Part V - A New Beginning (1985)

Short, sweet, and to the point. Friday the 13th is a raging series, no matter how far of a pit it has fallen into. And Part 5 shows us how it's truly done, with stunning atmosphere, colorful characters, violence galore, and funky 80s one-liners that not even Madonna, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, and bright neon could top. It's different from the other movies. Watch this and Part 1, and you'll wonder how the two could possibly fit in the same sequences. Violet is a doll, Anita, Demon and Reggie are hilarious, and Juliette Cummings (Psycho III, Slumber Party Massacre II) once again graces the screen with her Scream Queen presence. It needs an uncut release bad, but the version we have now is still, in its own way, a little piece of heaven. Trashy, nudey, smokey, and bloody, F13-ANB is the final entry in the franchise truly worthy of watching.

7/10

*** ½
3 and a Half out of 5 "Damn Anchiladas"

Natman

11-15-2007, 03:43 PM

Puppet Master II

In this series, this is what I would call the only all out horror film. While the series breaks many trends (it's almost completely devoid of teenagers) this one is a more standard, by the book 80's style horror movie. It's the only film to really showcase the puppets and their master as evil, seriously the puppets, especially Blade and Torch, get pretty sadistic in this film. It has a higher body count, more gore and more nudity and while I usually look for more, that's what the film has going for it so that's what is to be enjoyed. It's the only film to actually kill a puppet, but if you look at the timeline like I do, she actually stays dead.

The film also has a great atmosphere and sort of a gothic horror movie feel, and some of the best effects of any Puppet Master film. For me it's the third best in this series, and on a B horror scale, I give it an 8 out of 10.

Joshg

11-16-2007, 11:14 PM

Friday the 13th: Mother's Day (2007)

This non-profit produced fan film is not what you usually find on the web. It's feature length (around 95 minutes) and it's beautifully shot for an SOV slasher. The movie is based on a book from the 80s or early 90s by Erik Morse. It follows a hunter who finds 'something' in a box, and goes on a killing spree, wearing Jason's trademark hockey mask. Sounds dumb? Not nearly as much as you'd think. The film is set on the Mother's Day weekend, and seven teenagers are going camping at Crystal Lake. Paul, the cute jogger; Suzanne, a stoner who meditates with her boyfriend; Boone, a stud who has the hots for the foreign exchange cutie Monique; a real geek, and the main final girl, whose name I have forgotten.

The likeability of the people changes oddly. The final girl goes from being an undesirable bitch, to an interesting personality. Monique starts out as a whiny princess, but soon shows her sweetest side. Boone is irritating all the way through, but can be a pleasant person at times. The geek is weird, but kind of likeable. And Paul starts off as a caring guy, until you realise: he's just in it for the sex, and selected friends. These teens are definately better than many of the ones I've seen in distributed horror films, 00s, 90s, and 80s! Not most, just many. The gore factor is mediocre. Often off-screen or trickery, such as a splash of blood on a wall, or the after effect of throat slits. Though, they are creative: one boy gets a shotgun shoved through his stomach, and another is shot with it in the head, while still lodged in the other boy! Another boy get his head blown clear off, gushing blood from the stump. And my personal favorite, a girl is surprisingly jumped in a canoe by 'Jason', and stabbed in the back.

The acting ranges from below average and cheeky, to fair, to little over decent. While I can't put my finger on it, MD has a unique charm, and follows some formulas from the original series, while including music from Parts 1-9. I'd recommend to any F13 fan, as this is definately one of the best web fan films I've ever seen. And IMO, better than JX, JGTH, and FvJ, if it wasn't for the extreme lowbudgetness.

7/10

*** ½
3 and a Half out of 5 "Trailer Jasons!"

Apocalypto

11-17-2007, 12:37 AM

Return to House on Haunted Hill

Competently acted, but loaded with awful, unncessary CGI, poor prosthetic gore, and generic ghost routines that have been done a thousand times before a thousand times better.

2/5

Fowlees

11-17-2007, 04:25 PM

Hostel Part II

Much the same as the origional, except this time the main characters were females, not males. You learn a bit more about the way the businessmen/women "bid" for their potential victims in this movie.

It's not a bad movie, though , not surprisingly, not as good as the first IMO.

I had a chuckle at the Slovakian guy who was the receptionist at the hostel. He is the spitting image of a Slovakian fella i work with. Needless to say we've given him a bit of stick over this. LOL.

Joshg

11-18-2007, 12:27 AM

The Majorettes (1986)

From the author who brought you "Midnight". Here comes another screenplay from John Russo. Midnight was no masterpiece, but Majorettes stoops even lower. The film, also known as One By One, is a slasher, but has too many added elements to be taken into the classic realms. You leave the movie feeling annoyed, and wanting tied ends, even if it had a fairly good twist. Key characters get killed off in unclimactic ways. It's certainly no Killer Workout, or Graduation Day. GD isn't even that good, and it's executed better than this! The acting often lowers itself, and though there are some great stalking scenes, the kills are practically two things: Throat Slices and Shootings. One hanging, and an injection do not affect the feeling. Dissapointing, yet not disposable.

4.5/10

** ½
2 and a Half out of 5 "Wife Beating Drug Dealers"

Joshg

11-23-2007, 06:30 PM

Madhouse (1981)

Wow! This film is brilliant! Not perfect, but brilliant! And I'll tell you why. This slasher has a classy feel, and a unique bodycount and kill methods (back then atleast). Trish Everly plays Julia, a woman who fears her upcoming birthday because her sister always does something nasty to her. Now nearing 25, she teaches a bunch of deaf kids, her uncle is a priest, and she's dating a very classy man. But what lies beneath is a dark secret. Her sister is now deformed, no longer her identical twin, and warns her that she will make her birthday hell! She has a surprise for her.

The characters are all likeable, the score is eerie, and dispite being predictable (some things you can see coming 25 miles away) it's shocking! This is probably due to its dark dark theme. A kid gets killed (taboo #1), a dog gets his head drilled, and a cat hanged (taboo #2), and the heroine hacks so much skin off the killer, it's no wonder this was hailed a UK nasty! My mouth was wide open. Maybe I was caught at a bad time, but I just couldn't get over the things they were showing me in the last fifteen minutes. It's not flawless, and can be very bothersome (waiting for the landlady to die is practically a chore), yet it will have you wondering if Madhouse really is from '81. The shots are good, and I felt at times as if this were a '00s flick. I knew better, but I could picture some parts inserted into a newer film, with no questions asked.

7.5/10

*** ½
3 and a Half out of 5 Face-Bashed Dollies

Brett H.

11-24-2007, 12:24 AM

Ron

11-30-2007, 10:45 PM

Captivity

I thought this film was mildly entertaining at best. I think that I'm growing tired of all of these torture filcks flooding the theatres. There were some pretty cool scenes in it though like this one whereElisha Cuthbert's character if forced to drink bloody chunks that have been blended in a blender.

I give this film 2 1/2 out of ten considering all of the controversial hype that surrounded it.

Joshg

12-11-2007, 12:23 AM

Feel free to leave a comment.
There are pictures too!
I reviewed:

Puppet Master III: Toulon's Revenge (http://bodyhorror.blogspot.com/2007/12/puppet-master-iii-toulons-revenge-1991_03.html) (1991)
Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (http://bodyhorror.blogspot.com/2007/12/phantasm-iii-lord-of-dead-1993.html) (1993)

simonthekillerewok

12-12-2007, 10:15 AM

Wrong Turn

7/10 when compared to the current sh*te since then

Good make-up effects and a basic backwoods slasher plot that works well.

The only downside to this is the horrible blurry CGI shots of the landscape forest which I don't understand why they didn't film a real one -all they had to do was climb up a hill, mountain and point the camera at the scenery.

This is the pre-cursor to the Hills have eyes remake in my opinion, as the monsters in the remake look and act very similar to the ones in this movie.

Most of the characters are like-able, and it maintains a steady pace of action and suspence throughout. As far as jumps/scares it is lacking, but it makes up for this in it's realism. I haven't seen the sequel to this yet so I can't really make a comparison.

Ron

12-12-2007, 11:34 PM

Flight Of the Living Dead

i give this a 5.5/10...It was a little slow in the beggining, but when it did pick up it delivered some entertainment

Joshg

12-26-2007, 03:43 AM

5 Dolls For An August Moon (1970)

Directed by Mario Bava, this giallo from the very early seventies is jam packed with so much 70s styles, music, and colors, that your eyes will pop. I had a great time with it. And I often wonder why, since the plot is so incoherent, the dialogue is so quirky, and the characters are more than just a little weird. I take it this was part giallo, part black comedy. One of my favorite lines in the flick is from main girl Marie, who says, "I like men - But I like them alive!" or something along those lines. Pure, genious? Perhaps by mistake. Please note that this is Mario Bava's least favorite film, in his opinion.

The music, again I say. This is a murder mystery, but it feels like a soft-core porno. Though that's only instinct, since I haven't seen a 70s porn flick. Wait! Yes, yes I have. A cip, but...we're getting off topic. The kills are left to the imagination, which is alright here. It fits. If people were being stabbed gruesomely onscreen, I'd have to ask why?! Its pace is wonderfully unique, and it almost pains me to say this. "5 Dolls" falls flat, on many levels, yet its a treat to watch, if just for the trip back to the wild 70s. I never lived back then, but I sure do know how it feels after watching this movie - if you can call it that. Recommended, only for a rip-roaring laugh. If you want dark horror, ho-ho-hold on, tiger. Because this movie is steaming, sleazy crud.

4/10

**
2 out of 5 "Groovin' 70s Soundtracks"

Ron

12-26-2007, 03:48 AM

I fell asleep to Saw 2...not cause it's boring ,but because I was sleepy.

Joshg

12-26-2007, 03:50 AM

Say Peter, have you seen "5 Dolls"?

Ron

12-26-2007, 03:52 AM

...no, why??

Joshg

12-26-2007, 03:55 AM

Because it's Bava...and it's rediculously spectacular! Why? Read my review 4posts back for some insight. It's so seventies, and so, weird. Haha, you're missing out. It's by far one of the weirdest movies I've ever witnessed.

Ron

12-26-2007, 04:20 AM

I dig Bava. I trust your opinion implicitly....therefore I feel as though I have missed out..

FallOutGirl

12-27-2007, 11:55 PM

Brett H.

12-28-2007, 12:30 AM

Hostel
*7/10*

Hostel was decent. There were scenes that made me turn away with disgust, and I like that in a horror movie.
The nudity, however, wasn't needed.
Fair enough if it set the story, but it didn't, they wasted the first half an hour of the movie doing nothing. Nothing at all.

After that though, it was really good.

Nudity is always needed. Especially if it's bush. I haven't seen Hostel (although I have it), so I dunno what you are referring to.

Probably should get at that and the other 500-600 horror movies I own but haven't watched. Yep, probably should. Yep.

Ron

12-28-2007, 01:34 AM

"On Bloody Sunday" 2.5/10

This was just another unneccesary Saw ripoff, complete with with "moralistic killer". This film has nothing going for it at all really besides some ok gore effects. There's annoying rap music that plays periodically during the movie. This film is so terrible that I would not recommend it to anyone.

Joshg

02-02-2008, 02:17 AM

Murder Rock (1983)

Directed by Lucio Fulci, who obviously wanted to get away from the zombie movement for a moment, returns to his giallo roots with the dance academy one-by-one semi-classic Murder Rock. One would think that the godfather of gore, eighties spandex, retro tunes and a black gloved killer with a hat pin would be a recipe for one of the best horror thrillers of the decade!

Well, it wasn't. One of his weaker films (though certainly not THE worst) it plays out like a Law & Order episode, for the most anticipated parts of it atleast. I'm talking about the kills; the thrills; the reason you watch a Fulci film. If someone chopped off the end of their pinkie, and drained half of the blood out of it, you'd still have more of the red stuff compared to this. I'm not even sure that's an overstatement!

But horror doesn't need gore or blood, does it? No, it can move on a good story. A plot. A shame this is wasted potential. Competing dancers trying to make it to the top, with the suspisions that one of them may be the killer it terrific. So why does it take so long to get moving, and why does the feature not take advantage of this perfect premise? Spraying out other storylines that could just as easily been tied in with another is not up Fulci's ladder, but, he experimented. At least he wasn't afraid. You should still see this attempt, if not for the great 'whodunnit' factor (which, if you don't guess correctly thoughout the watch, you'll hit yourself in the head over) then for the soundtrack. Yes, that's the best part. Get up and do a number, shake those hips, and twist your wrists. It makes the time go by faster, and you won't be missing much. I'm thinking, five minutes of people 'just dancing' is the ball park figure we're looking at.

5/10

**½
2 and a Half out of 5 "Frequently Replayed 80s Dance Tracks"

Fowlees

02-02-2008, 08:02 PM

Ghost Game

It's one of those b-movie type films that pop up on the horror channel.

A group of kids (including the amusing, cousin Ted), go for a break at a cabin in the woods; a spot where 3 witches were murdered 30 years earlier.

Anyhoo. They stumble across a board game (hence the title of the movie) which unleashes the power of the 3 dead witches who try to exact bloody revenge on those who have awoken them.

Actually it wasn't that bad. But still 5/10.

Worth a watch.

Ron

02-02-2008, 08:09 PM

I watched Camp Blood 1&2. These movies were a pleasant surprise after hearing so much bad stuff. I thought the killings and acting were decent. I'm looking forward to watching within the woods.

I would give this film a 6/10.

The Dream Master

02-18-2008, 05:08 AM

To read my review of The Forest, please click here (http://oh-the-horror.com/page.php?id=31).

Brett H.

02-18-2008, 05:21 AM

I knew it. ;)

Can't wait until it's up! Up where? Only we know for sure...

Joshg

02-18-2008, 06:55 PM

Yeah, I can't wait to see it either. With all those pictures, and fun stuff. Hehe,

TDM, could you possibly make it more "widescreen" than your previous pictures though?

Natman

02-18-2008, 07:05 PM

Planet Terror (9/10)

Fantastic. My personal favorite film of 2007, I loved every moment of the film. The retro feel has been coming back, but Grindhouse took it to a new level. It was an amazing theatrical experience, the best thing I ever experienced in theaters. There's the problem. It does lose something on DVD, because it was made for theaters. I guess people just didn't get what a Grindhouse was, so it never found an audience. I still loved it, I just wish they'd released the two films together.

Ron

02-18-2008, 10:36 PM

Surgikill

4.5/10

This movie was mildly entertaining. there was a little too much humor between kills. I have no problem with humor, but it just didn't work and I just didn't get it. The kills were cheesy and it gets points for that. It may take a long time before I decide to take another chance on this one.

ilkeston_rocker

05-08-2008, 09:12 AM

The quite 8/10

Dont really know if this is classed as a horror maybe more of a dark drama.
Pretty good movie dealing with a good subject matter of child molestation, the movie had a sombre tone throughout and it never really picked up but the acting and the use of some pretty nice shots made this movie a good watch. as for gore and violence which i usually need in a movie it was lacking here but never really needed it as the tone made up for it. reccomended to anyone that can cope with a downbeat story.

The 5th Golden Girl

05-24-2008, 06:20 AM

Film: Let's Scare Jessica to Death
Year: 1971
When I First Watched It: May 23, 2008
Verdict: Thumbs Down

Review: I took a chance on this film after having had it recommended in my "Ghost Story Films" thread. Unfortunately, the movie falls apart quickly plot-wise. Basically, it's confusing, and there's no real ending. The acting is pretty bad, and the movie itself is boring. I thought the first few minutes were interesting, and it looked like it would creep me out, but it didn't. Oh, well; at least it was a free rental (monthly non-new release rental at Blockbuster).

Brett H.

05-24-2008, 06:36 AM

Hm, I really wanted to see Jessica. Guess I'll record it onto DVD off of Scream TV instead of buying it.

This thread really slowed down. I guess that happens when three people that contributed 1/2 the posts went on to form a review site. ;)

Ron

05-26-2008, 05:37 PM

The Mist

I watched this movie for the first time last night after hearing so many good things about it. I say it's a perfect 10 and delivers the goods.

On a Pale Horse

05-29-2008, 05:02 AM

Left In Darkness

I had never heard of the movie, but it was available to "Watch Now" online at Netflix. It actually turned out to be pretty good for a direct to video movie. Its about a girl who dies from being drugged at a frat party. She encounters her guardian angel, as well as ghosts that appear to her deceased family members and friends. Each gives her conflicting advise. Who to trust? Theres no time to ponder it as aggressive NOTLD type demons are after her.

Think "The Five People You Meet in Heaven" with a horror twist to it. If you like mystery type movies where you have to figure out what is going on, and which characters to believe, you'll like this.

Monkey

05-29-2008, 05:08 AM

Saw IV.

Oh, how I loathe thee. You have to watch the rest of the movies to 'appreciate' this one. Unfortunately, even if you have... you'll probably be disappointed.

Too many elaborate traps that ALWAYS work properly. Plus, how can one or two people set up so many traps at once? This was definitely the end of the road for me. Saw 5, 6, 7, etc... I've had enough.

3.5/10

zombie extra 3

05-29-2008, 06:07 AM

The Gate

8.5 out of 10

Fun fantasy horror film with good stop motion effects. I love the way the "demon lord" at the end is designed. The metal record that explains the "Old Gods Trying to Take Back Earth" part is funny. The only part I didn't like about the movie is the demons don't show up until late in the movie.

Demons

10 out of 10

I love this movie. It reeks of 80s splatter zombie horror. The gore effects are really good and the soundtrack is ROCKIN'. The plot is bad but I don't care. The gore and atmosphere/setting (the Metropol is awesome looking) make up for it.

Monkey

07-03-2008, 05:00 AM

JGTH 3/10.

My least favorite entry in the series. Where to begin? Coroner eating Jason's heart, the hell-baby, Duke breaking the guy's fingers in jail, Jason failing to kill the same guy at the end of the movie, the lame "only a voorhees can kill Jason" sub-plot. Ugh. Avoid at all costs.

Oh yeah, I didn't care for Jason's look.

Only reason I'm keeping this is to complete the series.

blink

07-03-2008, 06:20 AM

Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2

Where to begin... INFINITELY times better than the original!! An actual horror movie. Scary? No. Entertaining and interesting? Most definately. I LOVE how this sequel took the first movie and used it to make a completely different type of horror movie. I personally hated the original Blair Witch Project and was shocked by how much better of a movie this one was. Though I suppose it's probably the opposite with a lot of people. If you loved the first, you may not love this one.

Good story, good actors, interesting the way everything tied in together. Solid horror film and a very interesting take on making a sequel to a film such as the original Blair Witch Project.

FYI: I saw this years ago when it first came out, but I just recently watched it again tonight and still love it so I thought I'd review it. If I weren't so lazy I'd make a thread praising this and debating this and the original... oh well, one day...

Ron

07-04-2008, 06:47 PM

Hellraiser IV: Bloodline

I've been on a Hellraiser kick as of late. After watcing this again, I think that it was a descent sequel...nothing spectacular, although I did like the twin secutiry guard cenobites.

Rich

07-05-2008, 03:44 AM

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 - Dream Warriors

What can I say about this classic sequel that has not already been said? Everyone here knows that I am not much of a fan of the Nightmare sequels (especially Tallman :p) but this is a very good one. The story was solid. They had built upon what was started in the original film with both the story line and Freddy's abilities. They brought closure to Nancy's character making the story come full circle and giving you the end. The special effects were top notch. They developed each and every character with their own personality/problems/interests and Freddy used each one of them to his advantage. This was a very well told story and it is the Halloween II of the Nightmare series as it is the second half of a story to make it complete.

8/10

Hellraiser

They are angels to some and devils to others. Frank is an evil bastard. He is willing to murder for selfish reasons just to escape what he rightfully deserves. A box is basically the key to what you deserve and what you desire. This was an amazingly told story as well. It was phantasy terror in your face and the best phantasy terror film since A Nightmare on Elm Street.

8/10

AVPR - Aliens vs. Predator Requiem

The sequel to AVP - Alien vs. Predator basically played out like "Predator 3 featuring Xenomorphs and the Predalien." It was cowboys and Indians with the Predator as the lone ranger. There was not much of a story as the first one provided the backstory well, but it developed characters good enough and delivered on the exitment. It will never be classic like Alien, Aliens, or Predator, but there is sure as hell space on my dvd shelf for it.

6/10

Ron

07-05-2008, 10:59 PM

Timber Falls

6/10

This was a pretty solid flick. It had a many things in common with TCM.

Fowlees

09-05-2008, 10:07 PM

"Cannibal Detour"...........pure cack......leave it on the shelf.

2/10.

Ron

09-06-2008, 12:51 AM

Madman 10/10

I've seen this film upwards of 15 times and I can never grow tired of it. The whole campfire tale sets the perfect tome for it. Marz is badass. I would have given this film an 11/10, but I had to sit through T.P.'s hot tub scene again. My girlfriend walked in and thought I was watching late 70's/early 80's porn!

MaDMaNMaRz

09-06-2008, 01:01 AM

Madman 10/10
I've seen this film upwards of 15 times and I can never grow tired of it. The whole campfire tale sets the perfect tome for it. Marz is badass. I would have given this film an 11/10, but I had to sit through T.P.'s hot tub scene again. My girlfriend walked in and thought I was watching late 70's/early 80's porn!

Hahaha! Gotta love that hot tub scene. :lol:

Ron

09-06-2008, 01:11 AM

Hey Marz, what does T.P. stand for? Thomas Paul? Theodore Prudence? Toliet Paper?

MaDMaNMaRz

09-06-2008, 01:14 AM

Toilet Paper :lol:

Ya know, I think I might put in Madman later tonight.

JP's Revenge

09-20-2008, 06:51 PM

Lisa and the Devil -- (I've become an AICN 'AMAD' whore):

Telly Savalas kicked some major ass playing Satan... and there was a great story and atmosphere in the first half of the movie, but it kind of falls apart with no real thematic narrative towards the end. Lots of unanswered questions, and not enough clues to allow the audience (or me, anyway) to really figure out what the filmmakers were going for. The questions that were answered felt forced and shallow, and really... a bit cliche (maybe they weren't cliche at the time).

Parts of the flic felt like a horror-themed soap opera, which took me out of the movie each time... but again, Savalas alone is worth the price of admission... he was awesome. You guys should rent this one if you haven't seen it yet.

Score:
7.5/10

* I wanted to rent Madman after seeing some people praise it here... but damn Netflix doesn't have it at all.

Ron

09-20-2008, 07:26 PM

Evil Dead II 10/10

Thoughrly entertaining sequel. Gory, funny, and groovy.

Monkey

10-23-2008, 02:08 AM

NOES 3: Dream Warriors.

A very solid movie overall. Great effects, good story, likeable characters... This is before Krueger turned into a stand-up comic. A great horror movie, IMO. 8.5/10

Ron

10-23-2008, 02:18 AM

Gangs of the Dead 6/10

For what it was (a Dawn of the Dead remake ripoff) it wasn't half bad!

The 5th Golden Girl

10-24-2008, 12:44 AM

When a Stranger Calls (the remake)

I caught a few minutes of this on TV the other night, and it looked interesting so I rented it tonight. Bad idea. Basically they decided to stretch the first 20 minutes of the original movie into 90 minutes, and they failed. For 49 minutes, the main character walks around the house because she's spooked by various things (ice maker, maid, alarm, phone calls, friend in the house, etc.), and then at the 49 minute mark the killer finally says "Have you checked the children?" Then there's another ten minutes of nothing followed by ten minutes of "action" followed by a stupid epilogue ending.

I didn't like this film, and I didn't like the original. The first twenty minutes of the original film are EXCELLENT. Sex on a stick, even. I guess my best bet is to consider that first twenty minutes a short film, ignore the rest of that film, and forget this one was made.

I have nothing against remakes, but this one isn't good in any way, shape or form.

2/10 (one point for the house in the movie which is beautiful and one point for adequate, yet pointless, filmmaking)

The New Blood

10-29-2008, 02:46 AM

The Toxic Avenger

I saw this for the first time ever today. In the first 15 minutes I had the feeling that I was watching the worst movie I had ever seen in my life. Fortunately, I turned out to be wrong. Its not a masterpiece, but it definitely has its charm. Melvin was pretty annoying at first IMO, but after he transformed he was pretty cool. They say that nudity does not make a horror movie better. In this case I think it really did. The sex scenes helped set the in your face and down and dirty atmosphere this film had. The girls were hot as hell too:). The gore looked pretty good for the most part and appropriately over the top. I thought Melvin hooking up with the blind chick was well done. I was totally not expecting that. There were some scenes that made me laugh, because of their sheer stupidity, but in a good way. There really wasn't any likable characters IMO. It seemed like everyone was either a complete asshole or just uninteresting. The only ones I liked were the girls that took their clothes off. The acting was atrocious across the board, to the point that it almost seemed like they were acting shitty on purpose. Its a crapfest that really has some kind of weird way of sucking you in and making you like it.

6/10

Ron

10-29-2008, 03:11 AM

Saw V (2007)

Ok, I am a huge fan of the serires for those of you who don't know and I never intended to look at spoilers for this film, but I did. I inevitably saw it at my local theater on my birthday. October = Saw film = my birthday (26th). My usual gift from someone is to take me to see the newest installment. My girlfriend, Amanda, took me to see it on Sunday night and I must say, that even after spoilers, I liked it. Sure, the twist wasn't what it was hyped up to be, but that's ok. Without saying too much though because of the fact that this is a new film I will say that I think it is purposely a setup for the final installment. The end scene was classic and very climactic, but still leaves you in your seat asking that many more questions...which it wants you to! In that sense it succeeds and gets a fairly high vote from me. Don't get me wrong, i think this film could have been a Straight-to-Video release, yet it has its redeeming qualities for fans who pay attention to detail.

7.5/10

The 5th Golden Girl

11-11-2008, 11:30 PM

The Orphanage

GREAT film. Beautifully shot, masterful story-telling, scary, tragic, and yet somehow happy all rolled into one. I had to read English subtitles the entire movie, but that's fine. It reminded me of "The Changeling."

Ron

12-21-2008, 01:01 AM

Violent Shit (1989)

This was a German gore flick, plain and simple. The copy that I have didn't have any english subtitles so I did fully understand the story, but it didn't worry me because I don't think there was much of one. It succeeded in what it was trying to do and that was appall the viewer.

5/10

Grizzlyman

12-21-2008, 04:21 AM

Night Train to Terror (1985)

I just do not know anymore, seriously. I first discovered this little horror gem when I was 13 years of age, at a time when I was obsessed with the Jamie Lee Curtis slasher film Terror Train. Each time I searched for it, this movie would pop up. So one day, my older brother took me down to the video store to see if they had Terror Train. Well they did not, but Night Train to Terror was available. I just do not know if I have officially regretted that day since, or not. I continue to ask myself though, each time I watch this film... what the fuck is this?

http://www.moviegoods.com/movie_item.asp?path=%2FAssets%2Fproduct%5Fimages%2 F1020%2F&file=204434%2E1020%2EA%2Ejpg

Looking at the original theatrical movie poster, (yes, it was theatrically released in 1985 by its producer/distributor Visto International... I believe its box office intake was only a few thousand), it looks promising and bares similarities to what you would think would be a 'Terror Train' type of film. The results? Ah, where do I begin.

Universally, Night Train to Terror has been cited as one of the worst films ever made, or more specifically nicknamed the 'Plan 9 From Outer Space' of the 1980's. Our story begins with God and Satan on a train discussing the fates of these people. Should they be sent to heaven or hell for their actions? In a 'Twilight Zone'/anthology setting, the train conductor tells the stories of these people, while in the next train car ahead is a group of 80's punk rock teenagers singing the same song over and over again in between the story segments.

The first story features "Barbarella/Tarzan" star John Phillip Law as a man who is kidnapped by an evil asylum and is put under hypnosis to go out and date rape beautiful looking women and luring them back to the asylum were a sinister Richard Moll (of TV's Night Court fame) gets pleasure of molesting them and hacking them up to pieces.

The second story is about this wanna-be porno actress and this college frat boy who fall in love, and her sugar daddy producer forces them to take part in a 'death club'. This is the worst story, in terms of dialogue. This one guy who is apart of the club is supposed to have a Russian accent, although it is obviously dubbed and leaves him totally annoying throughout the segment. I cannot get enough over the ridiculous stop motion killer wasp, and the electricution computer that fries this Richard Pryor looking guy... his last line "Excuse me while I smolder!" is a hoot! The wanna-be porno actress is pretty good looking, although I still cannot get over how her lover taking on a group of kidnappers. Does he think he is Bruce Lee? Anyways... moving on to the next story.

The third story (and the longest of the three) also features Richard Moll again as a Nobel prize winning Atheist novelist who's surgeon wife is a devoted Catholic. A conflict of the two? Hardly, but a Satanist somewhere nearby seems to get pleasure out of making their lives a living hell, while raping women from a local night club, while character actor Cameron Mitchell in his tough guy persona tries to solve puzzling murders... with a cigarette in his mouth of course.

So again, I just don't know anymore. I cannot say I hate this movie, but I cannot say I love it either. In the past few weeks since seeing it again in such a long time, I have watched it on a number of occasions and have been obsessed with it for some reason. Maybe it is because it is a strange film with so many different feels of horror elements, or maybe it is just to unconvincing because of how poor the movie was done, or maybe it is just fun to watch to be totally believed! I don't know.

The movie does have some good gore sequences, and not too mention great female nudity and boobs throughout! But overall, the film lacks of quality, primarily the bad editing and special effects. The three segments were actually previous uncompleted films at that time, but are now all available as full length feature films.

Nonetheless though, Night Train to Terror is a fun grade-Z movie, and I can give it that if anything. This is probably the only film that I know, were screenwriter Phillip Yordan won an Oscar for Best Screenplay for 'Broken Lance' and was nominated several times for many other classic films and then to go write a script for a film like this!

So if you want to see a totally bizarre film featuring Richard Moll as a sadistic hospital orderly butcher up beautiful women with a hacksaw and see him get decapitated; or see a stop motion ridiculous looking killer wasp attack people and see their faces blow up; a construction ball smash a lady's head; or clay animation monsters come too life or see what is obviously a toy model train crash, then Night Train to Terror is for you!

I think from a 50/50 approach, I can give it 5/10, what the hell. It is a movie that you have to see, to believe!

Ron

12-21-2008, 04:21 PM

Prom Night (2008)

1.5/10 and that's being generous.

I don't even want to get into detail because I'll start getting depressed.

Grizzlyman

12-23-2008, 03:18 AM

Prom Night (2008)

1.5/10 and that's being generous.

I don't even want to get into detail because I'll start getting depressed.

Ah, I see what you mean Pete. I finally had the nerve to watch the film for the first time tonight, and it was THAT bad. The characters are beyond stereotypical, the dialogue is poor and the plot itself is incredibly weak that it is almost unbelievable for a slasher film. Each time someone gets killed, one of the annoying teens says "Lets go up to the hotel suite" the same suite were the killer lurks, and speaking of the killer, Jonathan Schaech is not convincing at all. I cannot believe one can classify this as a slasher film, much less a so-called remake of the 1980 film. This one is simply bad!!!!

Ron

12-23-2008, 11:24 PM

Glad you see where I'm coming from Grizz:)

I watched Freddy's Dead last night and it's a masterpiece compared to some of the crap I've been subjecting myself to latley.

I give it a 6.5/10

Grizzlyman

12-23-2008, 11:58 PM

And I do agree Capt. Pete, Prom Night can really make you depressed, or better yet, drive you to drink. God I cannot remember the last time I had such a painful and horrible horror movie experience in my life. The dialogue itself "Prom night is so much fun, but nobody ever tells you that it is sad". I can say the same thing for this horrible movie, it is sad!

Even the scene in which Jonathan Schaech is breaking through the motel door to get Brittany Snow, instead of her running, she stands in one place, jumping up and down for 15 seconds screaming and saying "leave me alone!" It was more over the top than Shelley Duvall in The Shining in my personal opinion. Did I also mention the ending? Another one of my favorite moments is when Claire goes up to the suite and sees Schaech standing there. Instead of screaming, she says "Mr. Fenton", before she gets stabbed to death.

More horrible dialogue as she looks at her dead boyfriend Bobby. "Bobby, I'm so sorry, I really am!", and then the detective and her aunt and uncle come into the room to comfort her, despite the dead boyfriend in the same room. Come on.

Coming back to what you said in the previous thread, I agree with you Capt. Pete, the Myers house most likely would have dumped gasoline all over itself to be associated with a movie like this! Fuck, its official, Night Train to Terror is more enjoyable than this movie!

I still have not decided to try and block this movie out of my memory or hack myself unconscience.

Sean [The Wildcard]

12-24-2008, 03:26 PM

Let the Right One In (2008)

Wonderfully made film. I loved everything about it.

10/10

Ron

12-25-2008, 05:42 AM

Friday the 13th VII :The New Blood 9/10

What can I say, I'm a sucker for the Friday franchise:)

Rich

12-29-2008, 08:21 PM

A Horror Masterpiece of Tragedy, Hysteria, Suspense and Terror (beware spoilers!)

There is so much more to this movie that anyone gives it credit for. When you mention Friday the 13th, many people either dismiss it for being "just a slasher flick" or a "Halloween rip-off." Most people do not see the artistic value in Friday the 13th because they simply do not expect it to be in this kind of movie or do not want to acknowledge it, as a result of already having their closed (typical critic know it all) minds made up.

First off, Friday the 13th is not a Halloween rip-off. When Carpenter's equally classic Halloween generated top box office revenue in 1978 and 1979, many eyebrows raised within the film industry. Among those were the brows of a few people in particular. Sean (director) Cunningham, Victor (credited writer) Miller, Ron (unaccredited writer) Kurz, Steve (producer) Miner, and Georgetown (independent film production company) Productions all wanted in on the profit made by the Halloween. The only sensible thing they could think of doing was to produce a similar product, which became Friday the 13th.

Sean wanted to make the same kind of money that John made, but he knew he would have to make his film a little different. Instead of just having a walking masked madman on the loose, he and Victor came up with a story that is quite brilliant. Sure, certain scenes in Friday the 13th may have been taken from Halloween, but you can say the same thing about Halloween taking some scenes from Psycho. Friday the 13th, whether it was on purpose or not, utilized a couple of really good themes in their story telling, beyond the typical moral theme that everyone associates with these movies like sex leads to death.

The first theme that Friday the 13th throws in your face is the idea of isolated mass hysteria. Camp Crystal Lake and the town of Crystal Lake are haunted. They are not haunted by ghosts and goblins, but by unsuppressed dark memories of a little boy drowning and a string of unsolved murders among other things, in which all have to do with Camp Crystal Lake. Every person in town believes that there is a "Death Curse" upon the camp, and they refer to the place as "Camp Blood." When Annie walks into the restaurant and asks some people how she can get to Camp Crystal Lake, they all look at her and two people try to warn her to stay away from the place. They say the place is jinxed and has a death curse.

Psychology is only a little more then 100 years old, but we know that parents have a strong "connection" to their child even after the umbilical chord is severed. For a parent to have to burry their own child is probably the most devastating thing that can happen in their life. Mrs. Voorhees looses her son to a tragedy and little by little she snaps. She tries to give him life by giving him a voice at one point (just like Norman Bates did for his mother in Psycho), and that voice tells her to murder those responsible for her son's death.

Of course for the horror fan there is enough blood and murder to please. All in all Friday the 13th is a powerful tragic but frightening story of love, loss, superstition, and murder with an ending that is sure to make one jump (no pun intended) right out of one's seat. Also, not revealing the murderer until the end makes the film more suspenseful then showing the murderer in the opening sequence like Halloween did.

Grizzlyman

12-30-2008, 07:54 AM

Too Scared to Scream (1985)

Some people think that this slasher film is incredibly dull and boring, but I think it is probably one of the more slightly original and tasteful of the handful of slasher films of the early 1980's. Slasher films can have a number of elements, and what works here is I think in between the familiar cast and the sarcastic dialogue, as well as the character and psychological interactions throughout the film, make it a slightly more enjoyable slasher film than the others.

First off to note though, is that despite there are indeed beautiful naked women in this film (as usual) this is not your typical teen slasher, in fact more specifically, it could almost be called a veteran movie generation slasher film. :eek:

Here we have a large group of very well known actors: Mike Connors, who is best known for his role on the 70's TV series 'Mannix'; Anne Archer who went on to star and receive Oscar nominations for 'Fatal Attraction' and 'Clear and Present Danger'; Ian McShane of the TV show 'Deadwood'; Maureen O'Sullivan best known as Jane in the the 'Tarzan' films and finally, the Mayor from 'Jaws', Murray Hamilton. Rounding out the cast in more smaller roles include Leon Isaac Kennedy, John Heard, Ruth Ford and Carrie Nye.

The film is basically about a murderer attacking several tenants in a large sky rise apartment building in New York City. Connors plays the tough police detective, while his new rookie partner Archer goes undercover. Even though the film is indeed gory, the performances are rock solid and in between the number of cameos of the already aforementioned familiar cast, I think it really rounded out to a fair and modest slasher film with a difference in plot and characters. Even though it was more of a 'slasher' / cop chasing killer mystery scenario, I thought that the relationship between Connors and Archer was fair.

McShane did an incredibly fantastic job at playing the gentle doorman of the apartment building in which they suspect he is the killer, to playing the overbearing son of Maureen O'Sullivan later on in the film, which I thought the relationship there was quite genuine in my personal opinion.

The scene in which Mike Connors uses a sort of 'reverse psychology' on a porno advertiser in downtown New York to try to catch a suspect is a hoot as well!

I give the film a 8/10, and most fans of this genre have never cared for it, but it actually is one of my favorites!

Brett H.

12-31-2008, 11:03 AM

I can remember having the chance to buy Too Scared to Scream flick under odd circumstances once, but passed on it. Kind of wish I hadn't now.

Grizzlyman

12-31-2008, 09:59 PM

Yeah, it is actually not a bad slasher film, but I think the difference in this case is because it was not the typical 'teen slasher', it basically became long forgotten. The premise of a killer "knifing" people in an urban major area like New York City in the case of Too Scared to Scream, is of course not as standard and favorable than the killer out in the wilderness setting or spooky neighborhood, but I thought it was a quite enjoyable little slasher film. Ian McShane in particular steals the show as the bizarre Shakesperian doorman of the apartment building. The song at the beginning of the film 'I'll Be There' is sung by legendary French singer Charles Aznavour, and (gulp) I actually love that song! :D

Joshg

01-01-2009, 03:33 AM

Grizzlyman, I own the Vestron 1985 tape of Too Scared to Scream (1982). If you want, I can rewatch it again and we can...shall I say...speak of it! :D

Hehe, well anyways, from what I remember from it, it was slow, slashy, but with only a few peaks of interest. I'll give it another go.

Grizzlyman

01-02-2009, 08:07 PM

Sounds like a good idea there Josh! You might even consider loading the opening sequence onto YouTube! :D

I wish they would put it out on DVD, as the old Vestron Video copy is pretty wore out, but it still plays fine though.
ADDED:
Blood Beach (1981)

Well I decided to pick up a movie I had not seen in a few years, from Compass International, 1981 it is Blood Beach. It is a shame each time I watch this film that it could have used some more originality, but the premise of the typical 'Jaws' ripoffs was dying out by the early 1980's anyway.

The story of a beautiful sandy beach in Santa Monica California. It might remind you of 'Jaws', but what exactly is happening to all of the little kids building sand castles, babes in bikinis and surfer dudes on the beach? Another Great White is loose? No... not this time. It appears that there is some kind of quick-sand monster that has just started swallowing people underneath the beach.

David Huffman (a handsome young leading actor of the 70's and 80's who was just starting his peak into a mainstream acting career but was cut short when he was found murdered in 1985) plays the role of a local citizen who is out to investigate what is going on; while Burt Young and John Saxon play the cops who spend more time arguing and looking tough and throwing in lines such as "Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water... you can't get to it! (which became the tagline on the theatrical movie poster).

Blood Beach did not conjure up much box office success during its theatrical run, probably because it was released during a time when all the horror films flooding theaters were all slasher films, and monster films (with the exception of maybe The Howling) were not as common during this time. Compass also had another major flop in 1981, being Linda Blair's 'Hell Night'.

I must add though that director Jeffrey Bloom, who also wrote the script did a fair job in terms of the characters, and while some of the dialogue is too tongue in cheek, the story itself I though could have used a little bit of work as to explaining what the hell the creature was, which by the way when the creature is revealed in full at the end of the film, it looked similar to the sea monster in Sean Cunningham's 1989 underwater thriller, Deep Star Six. I did love the score by Gil Melle though, and his use of the syntheizers!

I give it a 7/10

DouglasJ

01-23-2009, 12:26 PM

michaelleefinnie

05-26-2009, 01:25 AM

MY BLOODY VALENTINE (1981)

this film is pure awesome, and one of my top ten movies as of today 5-25-09. i love the suspense, and everything about it is perfect. i especially love how the film was made, going with the mine and the killer wearing a mining suit and a gas mask. i would have to rate this film 10/10 stars. i wonder why paramount declined a sequel because it would have worked. at the end axel says he'll make them pay, and he survives and get's away as the screen fades to the end credits. it seriously would have worked. axel could have come back for revenge again.

but overall, my bloody valentine is definitely worth the money, and time. i actually CANNOT believe they declined to make a sequel, when the original is so great.

Dave Dunwoody

06-21-2009, 05:16 PM

Splinter (2008)

A young couple are carjacked by a pair of om-the-lam lovers, and all of them end up trapped in a gas station with a parasitic creature lurking outside.

This movie's short and sweet (about 76 minutes) and doesn't try to pad itself out at all. Something's always going on. Well-done practical effects. CGI, if it was used, was not used frivolously or even noticeably. Of course, can't trust my eyes any more.

(Edit: I did a little Googling and apparently the movie has next-to-no CGI.)

My two problems with the flick are (1) the two male leads. One's a craven coward and the other is a white-trash bully, and both are equally annoying until they man up at the end.

The other thing is (2) shakycam. It's used whenever a full creature is shown. I'm sure they did it to keep the creature from looking too fakey, but it's used way too much and is way too shaky. I think it was unnecessary because the creature was supposed to be a sloppy collection of body parts anyway. And they use it when there isn't even any action going on. The monster's just standing there and the camera is flailing around.

I'd give it a rental if you like body horror (Cronenberg, Carpenter's Thing).

JP's Revenge

06-26-2009, 06:17 PM

Comparing Splinter to The Thing is kinda like comparing Bloody Murder to F13. ;)

Not a horrible flic though.. saw it on HDNET or some channel like that, about 6 months ago. I agree with Dave, the monster was handled poorly, and the male leads were pretty horrible.

Deathscythe

04-11-2010, 09:13 AM

I've always wanted to do one of these, and here's my chance:

Halloween 5 - The Revenge of Michael Myers

Halloween 5 marks the fifth instalment in the Halloween series. Now being a late 80's slasher sequel, I don't except the second coming of Citizen Kane. However this film is truly a disappointment.

The film starts off very strong, the opening clips that show a pumpkin begin carved is one of the best scenes in the entire series. Traumatized Jamie Lloyd and losing his sanity Dr. Loomis are back and just as great as in previous entries. Myers returning back to Haddonfield isn't exactly the most original idea, but it always works. We first see him target H4-survivor Rachel. The build up to this scene well done, with Mikey lurking as she moves around the hose. Unfortunately this moment of suspense is ruined by actually showing Mike before he strikes. Ironically, no one seems to even acknowledge that Rachel has gone missing in the film.

Myers then goes after Tina and her friends. Now here is when the film goes downhill. Having a Halloween party was a good idea as it adds to the atmosphere of Halloween. We see Myers victimize characters in a barnyard, however due to the lack of character development these deaths turn out to be nothing but show for the audience. Finally, Myers finds Jamie and the chase begins. We see Tina sacrifice herself for Jamie, but Tina's poor acting during this scene made it really hard to sympathize with her character. Now the audience can sit back and relax to watch a nine year old outrun a car.

Finally the film picks up when Myers and Jamie return to the Myers house, along with Dr. Loomis. The Myers house for some random reason is a now a Gothic mansion. This ain't the only thing in the film to come out of left field - a man in black is walking around Haddonfield and Jamie has a friend by the name of Billy. Anyway, there are truly some classic moment of suspense here - Loomis confronting Michael and the laundry-chute come to mind. Finally, Loomis defeats Myers. Unfortunately as much as I do love the 3rd act the ending just brings the film is highly unimpressive. The out of the blue man in black come to save Myers and the film just ends.

Conclusion: Halloween 5 is not a consistent film, it has its flaws. However, when it has its moments it truly blossoms as a worthy sequel. I wouldn't place it above previous entries in the series, but it does triumph over what came after it (6, Resurrection, remake, etc.) I give it a C

MaDMaNMaRz

10-16-2010, 12:07 AM

Revenge of the Radioactive Reporter

:facepalm:

That was basically my reaction after I finished watching it. This was the first movie made by Craig Pryce, and should've been his last. They blatantly rip off movies like The Toxic Avenger, Phantom of the Opera, and numerous 80's slashers.

Investigative reporter Mike, and his fiancé Richelle cruise around Toronto, while she tries to get him to give her info about a big story he is working on. Mike says he can't yet reveal his scoop, but he tells her that he will explain to her about it soon, after a secret meeting the next day. The next morning, Mike confronts the board of the local power plant, led by the smarmy Dick Swell......yes, you read that correctly. The guys name is Dick Swell. :duh:

He confronts him about their poor safety standards. Dick takes him on a "tour" of the facilities to convince him otherwise, but uses the opportunity to toss Mike into a vat of nuclear waste. Before he's thrown in, Mike tells him that Richelle will call the police if he doesn't come home. Fearing she knows too much information, Dick and the rest of the board decide that she too must be killed. However, Mike doesn't die. He rises from the vat, now sporting a fedora and a trenchcoat......so he basically looks like a Darkman rip-off......to exact his revenge.

After that, the movie is just filled with juvenile sexual innuendo and inept dialogue that makes a film like The Toxic Avenger seem smart and sophisticated. Aside from the character named Dick Swell (WTF?), there is also the main character Mike R. Wave, Peter Spurtz, Tom Collins, and Cher Noble. Clearly they intended for this to be a horror/comedy, but it fails on every level. I will say one positive thing about this movie. Besides the awesome cover art, some of the makeup and SFX aren't TOO bad.

Unless you are a VHS collector like myself, that is the only reason to see or own this worthless piece of crap

1/10

Brett H.

10-16-2010, 02:56 AM

Damn Marzy... Aren't there better videos to collect? :D

MaDMaNMaRz

10-16-2010, 03:51 AM

Damn Marzy... Aren't there better videos to collect? :D

Hahaha! There really are, Brett. I suffer through the worst ones too, because i'm pretty hardcore when it comes to VHS. :p This one is easily one of the worst i've seen.
ADDED:
The prices on that one get pretty high, because it had lower distribution numbers compared to Magnum's other titles......this was for good reason, though. :lol: It usually gets up to $50 easily! Luckily I only paid a few bucks for it. However, the one I have doesn't have the gold label with the Magnum logo on the tape. Mine just has a white label with the title typed out. But the cover is still in good condition. Magnum's covers over time becamse so blurred, and the print was barely legible. Some of their later releases even had a white label with the title written in magic marker! They really became cheap after awhile.

Scarecrow

10-18-2010, 11:48 PM

Eden Lake

Eden Lake is a 2008 British horror film, steeped in horror conventions. However, it brings a realism to the mix, that makes it far more affective than any horror film in recent memory. Like all the best films, it has something to say about society. And it will leave you pondering on this long after you have seen it.

The plot will seem instantly familiar to anyone with even the slightest taste for horror movies - a couple taking an idyllic holiday soon become embroiled in a nightmare that leaves them fleeing for their lives.

It should be old hat. This film should not shock, or be in the slightest bit scary. We've seen countless films with countless victims fleeing through the forest. But this film is different.

The film is obviously inspired by relatively recent headlines. As a UK resident, it seems barely a day passes that we do not hear of some band of delinquents killing someone. It's becoming all to common now to hear about innocents being set on fire whilst waiting for a late night bus. Fathers, brothers, sisters and mothers being attacked at knife point. Not for money, or any personal gain on the side of the attackers. Simply for the pleasure they derive from it.

We have become familiar with this new brand of low life that populates the streets. That is why this movie is affective. We know that not only could this happen, but it does happen. We are presented here with this recent breed of slime - teenagers who kill simply for a thrill. And they feel so real. They feel like the people you encounter on the street every day. They are kids, they seem harmless. But they have knives, Stanley blades and scalpels. They rejoice in the pain that they cause, and happily capture it on their camera-phones.

Another unusual element is that the majority of the scenes take place during the day. This is particularly unsettling. When watching a horror movie like this, you expect people to be safer during the day. This is relentless - these people will not stop chasing you. You are never safe.

That's why Eden Lake is an unsettling horror film, miles apart from many of the offerings we are given today. It's real. We hear about it all the time.

The fact is, this movie leaves you scared to go outside.

The movie does what it is supposed to. It will not be a film I revisit soon, even though I liked it. It's just too bleak, the horror too real. It kept me awake, and I still can't shake the feeling of dread and melancholy it brings.

It does it's job. It scares you. More importantly - it leaves you thinking about the state of the world today.

10/10

Wait, someone LIKED this movie!? I mean, it was like the pages of the daily Mail spread out on screen. Scremaing form all its lungs about the AWFUL state of society whislt doing nothing productive, and only fudging the issue. This film is awful, preying on ngeative iamges of youth and peoples fears, to spread fear... it's like the anti-video nasty in many ways... and then, of cours,e it wraps it up in the "real" to disguise its absurdities. msot of all the absurd ending and stupid choices made by characters, that take it out of the realm of reality altogether in order to give the audience the "grim and gritty" ending we obviously need in these dark, dark times. It is unrelentless, and it is depressing in places, but mainly because it aims at all the easiest right wing pandering targets to complain about society, throw blame about the place, then fudge a climax just to be dark. Bad film, best avoided!

- Scarecrow
ADDED:
Eden Lake

Eden Lake is a 2008 British horror film, steeped in horror conventions. However, it brings a realism to the mix, that makes it far more affective than any horror film in recent memory. Like all the best films, it has something to say about society. And it will leave you pondering on this long after you have seen it.

The plot will seem instantly familiar to anyone with even the slightest taste for horror movies - a couple taking an idyllic holiday soon become embroiled in a nightmare that leaves them fleeing for their lives.

It should be old hat. This film should not shock, or be in the slightest bit scary. We've seen countless films with countless victims fleeing through the forest. But this film is different.

The film is obviously inspired by relatively recent headlines. As a UK resident, it seems barely a day passes that we do not hear of some band of delinquents killing someone. It's becoming all to common now to hear about innocents being set on fire whilst waiting for a late night bus. Fathers, brothers, sisters and mothers being attacked at knife point. Not for money, or any personal gain on the side of the attackers. Simply for the pleasure they derive from it.

We have become familiar with this new brand of low life that populates the streets. That is why this movie is affective. We know that not only could this happen, but it does happen. We are presented here with this recent breed of slime - teenagers who kill simply for a thrill. And they feel so real. They feel like the people you encounter on the street every day. They are kids, they seem harmless. But they have knives, Stanley blades and scalpels. They rejoice in the pain that they cause, and happily capture it on their camera-phones.

Another unusual element is that the majority of the scenes take place during the day. This is particularly unsettling. When watching a horror movie like this, you expect people to be safer during the day. This is relentless - these people will not stop chasing you. You are never safe.

That's why Eden Lake is an unsettling horror film, miles apart from many of the offerings we are given today. It's real. We hear about it all the time.

The fact is, this movie leaves you scared to go outside.

The movie does what it is supposed to. It will not be a film I revisit soon, even though I liked it. It's just too bleak, the horror too real. It kept me awake, and I still can't shake the feeling of dread and melancholy it brings.

It does it's job. It scares you. More importantly - it leaves you thinking about the state of the world today.

10/10

Wait, someone LIKED this movie!? I mean, it was like the pages of the daily Mail spread out on screen. Scremaing form all its lungs about the AWFUL state of society whislt doing nothing productive, and only fudging the issue. This film is awful, preying on ngeative iamges of youth and peoples fears, to spread fear... it's like the anti-video nasty in many ways... and then, of cours,e it wraps it up in the "real" to disguise its absurdities. msot of all the absurd ending and stupid choices made by characters, that take it out of the realm of reality altogether in order to give the audience the "grim and gritty" ending we obviously need in these dark, dark times. It is unrelentless, and it is depressing in places, but mainly because it aims at all the easiest right wing pandering targets to complain about society, throw blame about the place, then fudge a climax just to be dark. Bad film, best avoided!

- Scarecrow

Th3 DuMmY D1ES 1st

07-10-2011, 06:12 AM

i have recently watched "the crazies" (remake). pretty fuckin awesome movie

Natman

07-10-2011, 03:33 PM

John Carpenter's The Ward (2011)

As every horror fan knows, this film marks the directorial return of Carpenter after a ten year hiatus following 2001's less-than-spectacular Ghosts of Mars. In that time he did a couple episodes of Showtime's Masters of Horror that helped to get old Beer 'n Cigs back in a directing mood.

The film follows a young woman named Kristen (Amber Heard) who is committed to an institution after burning down a house. The trouble is, she can't remember anything before that. We are then introduced to the other girls of the ward. Emily (Mamie Gummer) is one of the most evidently troubled, next to Zoey (Laura-Leigh) who always carries a stuffed rabbit and is trapped in a child-like state. Iris (Lyndsy Fonseca) is the most immediately warm and welcoming to Kristen, and Sarah (Danielle Panabaker) is your stereotypical coldhearted bitch who sees herself as above the other girls, in particular the newcomer. An interesting role for Panabaker, as it's the polar opposite of her character in the Friday the 13th reboot. Each girl is, in their own way, a playoff of a stereotype, but in a way that is revealed to be fairly clever.

When we meet Dr. Stringer (Jared Harris) the film kicks into high gear. Kristen sees brief glimpses of a monstrous looking girl, some of the girls begin disappearing while the staff refuses to say where they've gone, and Kristen keeps hearing the name "Alice Hudson" tossed around, but no one will tell her who the girl is. Or was.

I won't give away any plot details, but the film is a well-paced ghost story with characters that are certainly strong enough to carry it, and results in one of the few twists of recent years that actually makes sense. As for the direction, Carpenter is a master behind the camera and his presence is clearly felt. This IS John Carpenter's The Ward. There are long, wide, brooding shots that just ooze with his trademark style.

If there's anything that could throw this movie off, it's definitely the score, which was lacking. Carpenter has scored nearly all of his movies, though some of his best, like The Thing, had scores by others. He used to be very particular with music, but with The Ward it seemed he settled for a generic, modern horror movie score. We're treated to one of the best opening credits sequences of his career, but after that, I could have sworn there were pieces borrowed from the Friday the 13th reboot.

Score aside, this is a strong return for one of the genre's top masters. At times, it feels like it's not sure what type of movie it wants to be, but it moves along and certainly keeps the viewer engaged, and as noted above, much is explained at the end in a satisfactory way. It's not at the level of Halloween or The Thing, but I don't think anyone, including Carpenter, expected it to be. So I have to go ahead and say that when it finally hits DVD and Bluray this August, I suggest you Buy it!

The Dream Master

08-18-2011, 02:44 AM

I can finally read what Natman had to say about The Ward now that I've seen it!

*skims post*

Hrm...I disagree with a lot of that. : / I dunno, I definitely wanted to like it, and I didn't exactly dislike it. Carpenter definitely still has talent, I think; the question is whether or not it should be applied to something more worthwhile than what he's done for the past decade.

Natman

08-18-2011, 09:10 PM

Yeah, now that some time has passed since seeing it... I don't know. I personally still tentatively say buy it. Not because Carpenter directed it, but because it's still, in my opinion, a Carpenter movie. But I may be a little more forgiving than some on the Carp. I loved Village of the Damned. Also, after this passing of time... still pissed about the score.

Natman

08-22-2011, 09:14 PM

STAKE LAND

The vampire genre is all over the place in terms of quality and very in-your-face these days, but one movie like this almost makes all of the Twilight nonsense worth it. Well, not really. But this film, just having hit DVD a few weeks back after a festival run in 2010, is spectacular.

Stake Land is set in a post-apocalyptic America overrun by vampires. It's a quiet, somber tale about people trying to get by, Hell, just trying to find a reason to want to. Despite the title and premise, while the film does kick ass, it is a very human, very emotional piece. The film follows a young man named Martin (possible reference to George Romero's incredible vampire tale) who is traveling north with a vampire-hunter known only as Mister. They're headed for New Eden, supposedly vampire free, which may or may not even exist.

As they move on their journey, they come across a nun being attacked by what seem to be two inbred hicks, but are in actuality two members of a crazed religious group called The Brotherhood. They don't kill vampires, they worship them, but they have little problem with killing people. As the film goes on, they also pick up a pregnant girl (instantly recognizable to horror fans as Danielle Harris) and a former soldier and integrate them into this found family. The family aspect too is a very powerful dynamic of the film. Mister is a father figure to Martin, but almost seems to neglect the role until dire situations in which he absolutely has to. Harris's character and Martin also have a strong, almost brother/sister bond.

The film plays a little like The Road meets I am Legend (the book) with just a taste of Zombieland. It is a far more serious, poignant film and the chosen style, especially with the western setting, certainly works. There also seems to be a coming-of-age story here. Martin is forced to become a man quicker than a boy his age usually would, because the world has gone by, and everyone needs to be capable of taking care of each other. Mister is, at his core, a compassionate mentor, though to keep the boy alive, he rarely shows it. He himself seems to be battling with what exactly his role is supposed to be.

While there's plenty of antagonists lurking the night in this flick, there's one core beast in the leader of The Brotherhood, who seeks vengeance on Mister for killing his son (one of the men trying to rape the nun when they found her). Like the best post-apocalyptic horror, this is a study of both how kindhearted and how horrifying people can become when the world goes to Hell. Whether you love vamps or hate 'em, I recommend you Buy It!